I often remind myself that kids respond to the version of themselves that parents reflect back to them and act accordingly. When we tell our kids that they’re selfish, they act in their own interest. When we tell our son that his sister has much better manners than he does, guess what? The rudeness continues. But the opposite is true as well. When we tell our kids, “You’re a good kid having a hard time . . . I’m here, I’m right here with you,” they are more likely to have empathy for their own struggles, which helps them regulate and make better decisions.
