She cannot apologize because to do so she’d have to “see” herself as the person who just did something awful, and she’d have to face the unwanted feeling of being unlovable to others. (“No one would want to love or take care of a kid who is so awful.”) She cannot confront the fear of abandonment that would inevitably come up if she did apologize, so instead she freezes to avoid further distress. Yes, this is all happening in a simple refusal to say “sorry.”
