Well, that part learned that it must not surface. It was essentially told: “You’re bad! You’re dangerous! Safety means connection with others and you threaten this closeness! Keep yourself far away, for my sake!” This. Is. Shame. Of course, the idea that this part of you threatens attachment and leads to aloneness isn’t actually true in the greater world—you can have emotions and still make strong connections. But it was true in your family in the time you were wiring your body for survival. These old habits die hard.
