But in reality, resilience has nothing to do with successful outcomes. If we all knew we’d be successful, there’d be no need to flex our “Come on, I can stick with it!” muscles. Building resilience is about developing the capacity to tolerate distress, to stay in and with a tough, challenging moment, to find our footing and our goodness even when we don’t have confirmation of achievement or pending success. Resilience building happens in the space before a “win” arrives, which is why it can feel so hard to access. But that’s also why it’s so worthwhile. The longer we learn to tolerate the
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