Behavior: A child is crying when his parent drops him off at school. Parent Response #1: “Stop being such a baby!” Attachment Lesson #1: When I feel vulnerable, I am ridiculed and unseen. Keep my vulnerability out of close relationships. It’s not safe there. Parent Response #2: “It’s hard to say goodbye today. I get that. Some days are like that. I know you’re safe here at school and we both know that Papa always comes back. I’ll see you at pickup.” Attachment Lesson #2: I can expect others to take my feelings seriously. When I feel vulnerable and upset, I get validation and support.
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