Becoming Kin: An Indigenous Call to Unforgetting the Past and Reimagining Our Future

by Patty Krawec

This elder offered a different practice. In his scenario, the victim and the wrongdoer would each be taken under the responsibility of separate elders. The victim and the wrongdoer would meet regularly with their assigned elder and work through their respective feelings of victimization and entitlement, of grief and anger. In these separate meetings, they would sing songs, and they would do ceremony. Maybe they would do counseling, and maybe the wrongdoer would complete restitution. It is important for the victim to do the work as well; “hurt people hurt people,” as the saying goes. Throughout the process, the victim and wrongdoer, along with their assigned elders, would meet periodically with a peace pipe on the table between them. If one elder believed that their charge had resolved the matter—if they had returned to themselves—that elder would touch the pipe that was laid between them. Only when both elders touched the pipe would they smoke together, and the matter would be resolved. Then the victim and the wrongdoer together could be restored to the community and to each other.