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July 27 - September 2, 2023
Having a clear sense of my values had rescued me from emotional tumult years earlier. Now it had just saved my dream job.
A values-based approach to life is like a compass, both clarifying and instructive. It’s so easy for us to get caught up in the ups and downs of our busy lives, losing sight of what we’re doing and why. This is normal. It’s part of being human.
be.
Excercise photp
Embodying Our Values
Foghting back with grace and love story of mom &ice slate rink
When I look back on why my mother made such an impression on me that day, I realize that this was the first moment in which I saw idealized values come to life.
knowledge is worthless when it just stays locked in our brain. Knowledge without action is hypocrisy.
Truth
The same is true when we go through the motions without putting our heart into it. Action without heart is disingenuous, and living life this way prevents us from ever living in the present.
Authenticity, on the other hand, is when we bring together our thoughts, words, and actions. When we align what we say, think, and do, we can unleash the true power of any ideal into our being and into the world.
And the more intrinsic they become to us, the more we become them.
How to be authentic
Creating routines and rituals to cultivate our ideals is how we optimize incremental, transformative change.
This is the underlying and untapped promise of living our values. Practicing these ideals can change each of us from within, transforming us from everyday people who have aspirations and values into superhuman beings who derive power from their embodied qualities.
This is why authenticity is the ultimate form of self-love.
The Value of Creativity (karta purakh)
Values based thinking examples
Ik oankar Satnam Karta purakh Nirbhau Nirvair Akal murat Ajuni Saibhang Gur prasad I had recited these words and their translations so many times as a child that their meanings felt self-evident: One Divine Force. Identity of Truth. Creative Being. Fearless. Without Enemies. An Eternal Form. Never Born. Self-Created. Through the Guru’s Grace.
the Sikh gurus did not use just one word to refer to divinity. Instead, they used hundreds of descriptors, each of which reflected a particular quality: compassionate (miharvan), enduring (akal), creator (kartar), fearless (nirbhau), giver (devanhar).
Our beliefs are more than hypothesis and more than even theory.
Our beliefs can shape how we act and behave. The gurus were not just describing the nature of divinity; they were also outlining ideals to which we can all aspire.
creativity as a key element of justice. When we are dissatisfied and outraged with the injustices happening all around us, there is a more constructive way to deal with our frustrations. Doing so takes innovation and ingenuity.
Guru Nanak offered another way of thinking about the sacred thread:
“Make compassion the cotton, contentment the thread, modesty the knot, and truth the twist. This is the sacred thread of the soul. If you have it, then go ahead and put it on me. It won’t break, and can’t be soiled, burnt, or lost. O Nanak: the people who wear this thread are truly blessed.”
Guru Nanak’s way calls on us to invest more of our time and effort and emotions into the injustices of our world. It also asks us to let go of the short-lived gratification that comes with things like social media attention.
difference is that the guru followed through with action, taking the initiative and ownership to make the change he wanted to see in the world.
Guru Nanak’s model gets us away from constantly complaining and bickering and moves us into positive action. It illuminates our way out of our personal malaise and collective polarization.
This is also why I believe that, for people on the margins, cultural and religious literacy is about social justice.
The breakthrough for me came when I realized that I was operating out of fear. All of my actions were actually reactions. I wasn’t living for myself, nor was I truly serving others.
Sikh wisdom warns against the victim mindset; there’s not even an equivalent word for “victim” in Punjabi.
Instead, Sikhi teaches about survival and resilience, that life may not be fair for everyone but we take on our challenges with grace and fortitude and dignity. This is what chardi kala is all about.
Guru Tegh Bahadur is trying to tell us that true fearlessness comes from within us, and that we must also be sensitive to other people’s fears. Both are important. One without the other tips us out of balance.
If we don’t like ourselves in the first place, how happy can people’s perceptions make us?
No longer am I putting on a show for people to affect how they see me. That feeling of anxiety and desperation is now gone. I want people to see me for who I am, but not at the cost of my own happiness. Removing fear from the equation has liberated me from that burden.
When we resist confronting and overcoming our fears, we are constrained by the same pathologies that leave us feeling the way I used to during air travel: upset, dissatisfied, undignified, and victimized.
Don’t confuse activity for activism.
Seeing this note was helpful because it reminded me that my guilt had less to do with what I was doing than how I was thinking.
Our worth is not determined by what we do. Our worth is inherent and priceless and cannot be diminished.
The problem comes when we try to quantify and compare our value, because in doing so we devalue ourselves and others in the process.
to Guru Amardas, sincerity—not outcomes—is the ultimate gauge of our efforts: Seva, consciousness, and devotion are true when we eliminate selfishness within.
Each of these three—oneness, love, and seva—share the element of selflessness.
Through connection, we open up the boundaries that separate us. Through love, we enter into a state of union. Through service, we go beyond our sense of self.
The Persian word for such aching compassion is “hamdard,” a term so useful that it has been adopted in many South Asian languages, including Punjabi, Hindi, and Urdu.
Seva is justice work that feeds our souls and nourishes our hearts, a way to bring more happiness to others while also firmly planting the seeds for our own long-term happiness.
When we limit ourselves to viewing anger as a foundation for our activism, or vengeance as the only fuel for our passion, we may find ourselves more interested in destroying the people who hurt us than in creating a new environment that would engender more justice.
Ive noticed this with myself
When we fail to process them through our values—like love, service, and creativity—won’t we end up reproducing the very inequitable structures we seek to abolish?
And did any of it create meaningful change, either within our hearts or within our communities?
Did our behaviors*
What are we actually accomplishing when we make pronouncements without taking actions to follow through? And what does this approach say about how much we really care?
This came at my neck, who really did I think I was during 2010s? How can I make shifts from this reactionary behavior?
I call this “performance outrage” because it is registered primarily for its social value. It carries so much cultural currency today that even marketing agencies now advise their clients to display social concern as a way to attract consumers.
The charade is unsustainable, which is why so many of us burn out online. Pretending to be someone we’re not is soul-crushing.
The charade of being concerned about issues
Social media culture capitalizes on and encourages these sorts of behaviors. The more polarizing our behavior, the more likely we are to get likes and retweets.
What really counts is that we have a hot take or, better still, that we call someone out and drag them.
Audre Lorde warned us: “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.”
To be truly engaged with the world requires human connection, selflessness, and, ultimately, love.
