When people say nasty things to me, I try to take in a deep breath, pause for a few seconds, and ask myself: Did I do something wrong? Did I cause this person harm? And if we replaced me with someone who looked like me, would this person attack them, too? By reflecting on these questions, I remind myself of one of the most powerful perspectives I’ve developed for dealing with hate—that, at its core, other people’s hatred is not about us.
