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"In your dreams, Miller. If anybody's a stepbrother fucker, that'd be you. You're the one who comes from small-town Alabama."
"Don't be a bully, angel. Doesn't suit your pretty face or your weirdo fuckboy name." Shit, that was mean. I almost recoil at my own words. "That's pretty rich for someone named Josh. Your name's a joke, like literally." Everybody calls me Miller. I stare at him, wondering if I'd get in trouble if I decked him on his first night in Fairplay. "You should fuck off. This is stupid." "You called me angel." He grins, folding his surprisingly muscular arms across his surprisingly bulky-looking chest. "What's that about?" "I already said this back at dinner. Your name sounds like an angel, like
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He’s the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen in real life, and I hate it.
“I don’t want you.” I laugh, like it's ridiculous I'd ever want him. He arches his brows and looks down at my lower half. I've got a hand over my hard-on, pushing it down so he can't see it. I’m so hard, my junk feels like I just got kneed there. “Show me," he says. "Lie on your back.” “I would fucking never, dipshit.” “Because you’re hard enough to have a sword fight with that thing in your pants. I bet you lie in bed and think about me out here, right outside your window. Bet you sit inside and watch.”
"I would never think about you. You would never be my type." My voice sounds raspy, and I hate that. “You know where all my scars are."
I’d like to know how hard you get for me. I’d like to see sweet Millsy with a big, hard boner. To see the blush on your cheeks.”
I can’t move, can't even fucking breathe, as he rolls them, then drags his hand up my erection, pressing with his palm then gripping, his hand wrapped around me, moving slow and firm, back and forth.
“Well hung, Miller. Who knew?”
"You think I won't push because you’re driving and I’m sick or something?” I ask. “I'm not sick. This is my brain on life. So let me say it for you, Ezra. I think you're a big, cocksucking gay fag just like I am. I bet if I put a dick in your ass, you'd fucking love it. Everyone knows cocksuckers like a big dick in their asshole."
"You're a guy who plays the cello and does Boy Scouts. I guess I can get you mad, though," he says, sounding thoughtful. "Oh yes, only you. So special. You know all my dirty secrets." "I know everything I need to. I was having fun making you squirm, and you enjoyed it. Don't pretend you didn't want it."
“Never jump,” I whisper. “Never fall.” His lips brush my back. He hugs me tight, wrapping himself around me. “You gotta be careful, Millsy. Don’t come here without me.”
And then he steps in closer, wraps a hand around the back of my head, and kisses me so hard and deep I nearly slide to the ground.
“You look perfect, Miller.” “You look perfect.” I stroke my fingers over his neck, and Ez shuts his eyes. “I fucking hate it, thinking no one made you feel the way you should feel. Dude, you’re a prince. I love where this is going between us.” “I don’t get why, though.” He bows his head, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Because I’m into you. That’s why. There’s no other why. I just…want you,” I rasp. “I want you near me. I want to see you feeling good. Because I do. When I see this look in your eyes” —I stroke his eyelid softly with my fingertip— “it hurts me. Like, it actually hurts my chest.”
When I was sick, you took care of me. If you’re sick, nothing feels good; you’re in pain. And you’re saying I can make you feel better? I’d do that all damn day. All night, too. I’ll suck your dick ten times a day if you want. If I can cure depression for you with a blow job, sign me the fuck up, baby. You got nightmares but I make them better? I’ll be your drug. You think helping you feel good could ever be a burden to me?”
You know what you need to stay alive? I figured this out. You need someone. It can even just be one person. That makes you feel...tethered to life. Like you're not alone and drifting with no meaning. Like you're not the only alien on the planet.
"I'll dress you today. All you have to do is call me Daddy.”
I bring our hands up to my mouth and kiss his. "I love you, Mills." "Forever?" he whispers. "Yep. Like the little tat on my chest." "You're not gonna leave again. Right?" "Never."
