It was all surprisingly easy, even with Andrew’s labyrinthine home security system—all you needed to know for the home security code was Andrew’s IQ, 142, and his penis length, 7.5—men can be so predictable. Early the next morning, I returned to find Andrew a rosy shade of dead, opened the windows, aired out the house, sliced off two nice chunks of Andrew’s choir boy buttocks, released the hounds, and let time, canine hunger, and nature take their inevitable courses.
