I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

by Baek Se-hee

Happiness and unhappiness alternate throughout life, as in a dance. So as long as I keep going and don’t give up, surely I will keep having moments of tears and laughter.

So sad to hear that the author is no longer with us. This book contained so much relatable wisdom.

want to be the kind of person who can walk inside the vast darkness and find the one fragment of sunlight I can linger in for a long time.

I hope you will listen to a certain overlooked and different voice within you. Because the human heart, even when it wants to die, quite often wants at the same time to eat some tteokbokki, too.

Funnily enough, the most consoling words I’d ever heard were these: ‘Why are you trying to be brave? Why are you trying to be confident? Just go ahead and feel what you feel. Don’t cheer up!’

It’s my first time doing this, there’s no way to do it perfectly, anyway. I have to remind myself of that and think of ways to do it better next time.

Whenever my self-consciousness hits overflow, or I feel weighed down by anxiety, sadness, irritation or fear, I think to myself: I have to turn my gaze. I think I’ve realised that this constant internal fighting is never going to make me feel better about myself.