Post-Traumatic

by Chantal V. Johnson

“Competition among women,” Vivian concluded, with a haughty air, “is a dangerous waste of our time. We should opt out of it entirely.”

The only things more oppressive than the eyes of an insecure woman were the eyes of an undesired man.

if loss of interest is inevitable, just get it over with and leave me, already.

Vivian saw how over time the older girl would internalize her mother’s contempt, treating herself with brutality whenever any needs surfaced. But by then, the memory of her mother’s loathing having receded, she would be unable to locate its source. It would just seem as if she were “like that.”

Leering men were often unattractive.

Black women were the least likely to report, due to the legacy of lynching and a desire to protect Black men from the carceral state.

They shared the dark humor of traumatized people, a humor that made most people so uncomfortable (either because they had been abused and never told, because they had witnessed someone’s abuse, because they had heard of the abuse of someone close to them, because they were in denial about abuse occurring, generally, or, more rarely, because no kind of abuse had ever happened to them) that they only revealed it in its full splendor when they were alone with each other, or, in Jane’s case, in therapy.

seeing the entire history of Black suffering, sardined bodies transported to an unwanting continent that would strip them of their traditions and customs, separate individuals from their tribes and families, and subject them to decades of oppression and cruelty that threatened to decimate the entire race, the future generations inheriting no land or wealth, only trauma, instability, violence, and poverty, and she felt angry all over again, on her own behalf, and on Michael’s behalf, and on her father’s behalf.

or to be moved by them. She wanted to say, Love is earned, not freely given. I don’t love or respect you. You have been a disappointment and I refuse to engage with

I’m very judgmental, you know, I don’t like it when people fail, mistakes embarrass me. I

“And why are we spending so much time on our mothers, when we both know that Daddy is the real enemy!”