And Then She Fell

by Alicia Elliott

Or maybe—and this is the option I’m most scared of—Steve could see the racism if he wanted but deliberately chooses not to, like a teen refusing to wear prescription glasses because they think it makes them look ugly and uncool. It seems in the club of whiteness—particularly rich whiteness—it is always ugly and uncool to bring up racism. It is ugly to bring up race at all, as if even alluding to something that’s fundamental to the way we each experience the world stains you. After all, as Joan often explained to me in earnest yet condescending tones, folks like her “don’t see race”—that is, until they’re walking down the street and a brown or Black man happens to approach, and they happen to tighten their grip on their purse while their fingers search its contents for keys to splay between their knuckles or pepper spray or a gun.