More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Whitney Dean
Read between
September 24 - September 30, 2023
The sun was starting to break over the horizon. I’d been trying to find her all night. No wonder I was willingly following a cat. I was a little delirious. It led me through the trees, never looking back to ensure I was still there. And I just… continued to follow it. A godsdamn fool in love.
“You know this cat?” He chuckled and nodded once. “The longer magic lies dormant in that forest, the hungrier it gets to awaken.”
opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head. “We don’t have time for that right now. I’m being followed very closely by the guards. They’re reporting my movements back to Cade. They think we’re the enemy.” “We are the enemy.” “We’re not, Zeke. This has gone too far.”
“Listen, do whatever you need to, but you must do it quickly. They’re getting suspicious, and Raven needs to feel a sense of normalcy return before she can let her guard down.” That meant I needed to end it with her soon. I had to let her go. I looked back to John and nodded, frowning. He sighed, patting my arm. “She will forgive you, Zeke.” My shoulders sagged. “How do you know?” He waited to answer, looking back toward the forest. “Because she’s not her mother.”
A small part of me was annoyed that Cade shouldn’t have been doing that while claiming to want me. And though Zeke had someone else, he had never once made me feel like he wanted anyone more than me. It only added to my devastation and confusion about him.
“It’s kinda cute when you’re jealous.” I wanted to burn him alive. “Except for when you’re throwing ice-cold water on me.” “That was a mild reaction.”
“Don’t flirt with other women in my presence, Cade.” “You’re kissing him,” he bit back. “I have to.” I wanted to, but I couldn’t say that. He threw his arms in the air. “This isn’t fair, Raven. I must accept this guy touching you, and you’re pissed at me for smiling at someone?”
“You are not his.” He grabbed my chin with his fingers. “You are not his,” he repeated. His eyes flicked to my lips. I watched how his face twisted at the internal battle he had within himself. I wanted to pull away. I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. Neither of us was ready yet, but that didn’t take away from how our hearts called to one another, beckoning, trying to soothe. Our connection was deep-rooted, and we’d spent years protecting it. The last few days tested us, and we almost failed. It was going to take time. We just needed time. He let out a deep breath through his nose. It tickled
...more
I looked to Zeke then, confusion written all over my face. “What was that about?” He smiled again and shook his head, coming to me, putting his arm around my shoulders, and pulling us into a walk. “I have a surprise for you, but it won’t be for a few months. Luisa is helping me.”
“Of course I do. But you have people—” I dragged out the word, “Waiting for you.” “Would you let that go?” His tone was sharp, irritated. “I don’t think I can. I’m not a sometimes girl, Zeke. You can’t have me here and someone else in Reales. I won’t be one-half of what completes you.” “You have no idea what completes me.”
“Please, just let me give this to you. We can figure out the rest later.”
“Why’d you even bring me here if you were just going to act like a little bitch?” I seethed from his silence. Lifting the bottle and tipping it back, I poured the liquid into my mouth like a drunken pirate while approaching him. “You really know how to give a girl whiplash.”
I didn’t wish to enjoy it, but having him hover over me with no means to escape helped me realize that I would gladly remain his prisoner if given a choice.
As he steadied his movements and I felt our hearts connect with their matching rapid beats, I realized he’d already won. I had fallen in love with him. And he would be my undoing.
He could burn the ground I stood on, and I’d beg him to do it again. I’d offer him my own fire. The fire coursing through my veins urged me to run and stop this, but instead of listening, I kissed him to pour all my feelings into
“I fell in love with you.” Quickly, crazily, in ways I would never understand, I had fallen for him completely. He had become an addiction, a feeling of danger and mystery, all wrapped up in a broken and beautiful package.
“We can’t.” He’d chosen his queen. It wasn’t me. And every piece of my heart shattered.
I was his rose, and he was the very thorn that pierced me. He took my heart with him. Now it was time to see who I was without one.
But little did I know that he had watched me while hidden in the shadows of my balcony. He watched me burn his rose. He watched me leave for another man’s room — naked under my robe, beautiful, thirsty for his blood. A dangerous game, indeed.
He hung his head, realizing I was only there to aid them in going. “I love you,” I whispered. His head snapped up like he could hear me. “Now get the fuck out.”
I straightened when Cade called me, telling me it was my turn to bathe. I glanced down once more, and my heart stopped. I could’ve sworn, even if it was just for a millisecond, that a pair of gray eyes stared back at me.
“Sleep now. I have you.” So I did. And for the first time since he left, I dreamed.
Steadily, he dipped his head to mine again, never breaking my gaze until, so gently, his lips pressed against mine. The feeling was like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Comforting. Safe. Cade. Hot tears pooled in my eyes because it didn’t feel right. But Zeke didn’t want me, and Cade did.
“I need you, Raven.” My hand was still in his hair, my heart beating against his skin. He crawled up a little more, closing the space between our faces. His lips pressed lightly against mine, and he pulled back again, whispering, “I don’t feel whole unless you’re in the same room with me, sharing my space.” Let him have you. Open your heart to him. Silent pleas to myself.
Those haunting gray eyes shot into my mind, clawing my heart. A sole image of him could steal my entire atmosphere, pulling me away from the one man here, begging me to love him, wanting to savor me, worship at my feet.
But she didn’t know that in Reales, scaling was one of the traits I taught my soldiers. And scaling her balcony at night was easy.
Not that I didn’t believe it was coming. I watched them one evening, training in the woods, wrestling on the ground. I sensed nothing but pure want — pure need — brimming from Cade but felt only shame on Raven. That was the first night I revisited her dreams, expecting to feel nothing but hatred from her, but instead, she wanted me to come closer. I was crouched next to her, watching her sleep, and she could smell me.
She was still hanging on to me, which was not part of my scheme. I needed her to move on and believe I was an unhealthy addiction for this plan to work. For weeks, I’d watched her wither away, a fraction of herself, of the enchanting creature I had come to know.
She didn’t know that we circled behind the caves and anchored there.
Home. My home was wherever Raven was. I reached into my coat pocket and fumbled for the engagement ring I was supposed to give her. I pulled it out, letting the moonlight bounce off it. It was my mother’s ring. Even though I insisted she not give it to me before I left, she said she had a feeling. I asked her what feeling, and all she did was smile. I never imagined I’d come here and find the reason my heart beat.
The diamond on the ring was cut like a pear, which was what Raven’s hair smelled like. She told me I loved her best in the dark, and the small diamonds along the band were cut like stars. This ring was made for her, and it was the very ring that John had given my mother when they married many years ago.
No. This was still the only option. She had to hate me and let her anger pull through, and I needed to keep invading her dreams, showing her glimpses into her past. I would need to propose and not give her the option of saying no, even if she loathed me.
She couldn’t understand how she always found me in her dreams, and I desperately wanted to tell her that I would always find her here. In here, we could be together. But it was another risk I just couldn’t take with her yet.
She stared at the baby in the cradle before slowly returning her gaze to me. “She’s here,” she whispered. Her fingers wrapped tighter around mine as a little girl bounced into the room behind us, coming to pick up the baby from the crib. Raven stared at the girl. Mira. ‘Little bird,’ Mira said to the baby, bouncing her in her arms. And then movement in the corner of my eye had me drawing Raven closer to me. “Why do you keep bringing her here?” I pulled Raven behind me at the eerie voice. Celestina was standing up from a rocking chair in the corner. How had I not sensed her here? But Raven
...more
“Raven,” she called again, her voice softer than before. Raven’s head moved, peeking around my side. I pushed us farther back, trying to get us to the door. “Mother,” Raven whispered, loosening her grip around me. Fuck, she was going to want to stay. Celestina’s resolve weakened at Raven’s voice, and I flung us out, stumbling a few steps back as I did.
I knew I shouldn’t, but right when I felt her on the brink of dozing, I whispered so low that she may not have heard, “I love you.” Another tear fell as a small smile sent her off to sleep.
A mixture of flame and fury rushed through my veins as I took small, tentative steps toward the table. A bright-red rose with thorns sat atop it.
Reales had always been the biggest of the four kingdoms, even though Perosan and Thoya had vast land of their own, but manufacturing something that each domain relied on for various things bred a thirst for a little something more. Alaric’s son, Leopold, took the throne after his passing and became cocky that Reales held so much of what other kingdoms needed, which turned into lust. If the other domains needed Reales so much, why shouldn’t he rule over all of them? So, Leopold invaded Perosan, who had been unprepared.
It was interesting, even now, that two small troops could take down the size of one like Reales had. I believed that when you threatened free will, people would start to fight back, and they carried that threat with them when they fought Leopold’s army.
I moved to the next book, which went into further detail about King Leopold’s family. He was married but had only one daughter: Celestina. Celestina went on to marry Rudolf. There was a watercolor sketch in the book of King Rudolf and his queen.
We’d spent the last couple of weeks becoming reacquainted, only this time as two people who could fall in love. We had loved one another for years, but it never pushed past the point of no return. Our touching was purposeful. I found myself missing him when he wasn’t there. He was fulfilling my emptiness.
Erase him, I begged silently. Make me forget, I pleaded.
“Come for me, Raven,” he demanded. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get there because everything about this felt wrong. I’d already been claimed. My heart didn’t belong to him and it was alarming how quickly I had given him my body instead, as if to make up for it. He didn’t notice my internal struggle or how I couldn’t
“You have to stop with this jealousy shit, Raven.” He brought one of my wrists to his mouth and kissed it. “You have more than enough personalities for me.” I scoffed and tried to pull away from him, but he brought me back. He cupped the side of my neck, and I tilted my head, meeting his gaze. “I’m in love with you, you wicked woman.”
“I love you,” I whispered, and I meant it. I had always loved Cade, and it grew deeper by the day. But why, when I said it, did I see those gray eyes?
The bakery. And it was up in flames. Without a second thought, I raced in, ignoring Cade’s demands to stop.
I used my fear, my fury, my sorrow, and every negative emotion… and I twisted it until it shot out of me. I screamed. And screamed. Frozen water blended with air, causing it to rain inside the bakery. Flames slowly started to choke and drown. My eyes squeezed shut as I continued to push out all the pain of my memories, my body physically shaking as tears fell down my face. Embrace the pain, Raven. Zeke, Zeke, Zeke. All I saw was Zeke. All I wanted was him.
I turned my head to see the eyes of what had to be every villager staring at me, mouths gaping. The rumors about their queen were true.
I stared at the silent crowd around me, tears still falling. Here is your queen, Seolia. Take me or leave me. It started with Theodore as I saw him bow. One by one, people followed him and bowed to me in gratitude, surprise, and allegiance; I didn’t care what their reason was. They weren’t revolting and weren’t grabbing their pitchforks. They accepted me. And that was all I had ever wanted—ever needed.
A wave of warmth washed over my tired body. As I took another step through the crowd, I staggered and fell. Pain. I felt pain everywhere. Cade called my name. I saw golden locks of hair racing toward me. I tried to smile. If he were the last thing I saw, I’d die happy. Because that was what it felt like. It felt like I was about to exhale my last breath. A hooded figure in the shadows stared at me, and then I saw a flash of gray eyes. And it all went black.
