You & I, Rewritten

by Chip Pons

To the man who stood beside me on that ledge, took my hand in his & leapt so fearlessly into the unknown with every fiber of his beautiful heart— My life is infinitely better because you love me.

“Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign or weakness nor a lack of faith, it is the price of love.”

I try to live each day with a humility and appreciation that comes from a firm belief that nothing is guaranteed in this life and in the blink of an eye, everything could, and most undoubtedly will, change.

Rise. Heal. Overcome.

But from his perfectly manicured scruff to his simple, tailored appearance, there isn’t anything casual about this man.

He screams purpose and control.

When I get the chance to read something new from one of my favorite authors—especially before anyone else does,

I revert right back to the younger version of myself who just discovered his obsessive love for reading.

I’m left throbbing, panting, and with my damn mind blown in fragments of pure lust for this man.

The deafening silence of the stillness now forming between us is so overwhelming, I begin to tremble. I need his lips on mine more than I’ve needed anything before.

I stare into the eyes of the man who literally just took my breath away and left me throbbing at the same time, who made the rest of the world slip away into oblivion and I couldn’t care less.

He’s made me feel seen and valued. He’s made me feel whole.

this version of Graham—this carefree and untethered and achingly beautiful version of him—is one that will live rent-free in my mind for the rest of all time.

Talking to Graham about this makes me feel like I’m shattering into a million pieces, my body left jagged and splintered, unable to be put back together.

it’s just that with him, it feels like exhaling. That’s the only way I can describe it. Like I’ve been holding this breath my entire life,”

“Who you are is someone to be proud of…I know I am. Despite everything that you’ve shared with me tonight and everything you’ve overcome to get to where you are today, that man is someone I am in awe of.”

He holds me tight, his arms shielding me from the world and the heartache. Even in the midst of the pain I’m feeling right now, I know that I love this man in a forever kind of way—it’s the most powerful emotion I’ve ever felt.

We are all responsible for our actions and their consequences.

“You did this. You turned your grief and your heartache into something that will positively impact countless lives.

That is something any father would be immensely proud of.”