Gus (Bright Side, #2)

by Kim Holden

I reach for my pack of cigarettes while I order. "Jack. Make it a double." It's habit, the pack is empty. I knew that. "And a pack of Camels."

Bright Side wasn't only my best friend; she was like my other half ... the other half of my brain, the other half of my conscience, the other half of my sense of humor, the other half of my creativity, the other half of my heart. How do you go back to doing what you did before, when half of you is gone forever?

About five minutes later I spot a tall, slim brunette wearing a loose red hoodie and shorts. The shorts aren't obscenely short, but they show off her spectacular legs, long and lean.

There's scarring on her right cheek. It looks like she was burned severely. Her hair falls around her face, but I can still make out the scar tissue. It looks like it starts below her eye, just missing her nose and mouth, and continues down her cheek and neck, disappearing into her shirt. I wonder how much of her torso is affected since her legs are unblemished. How did I not notice this before? I've been around her for two days. I'm usually a little more observant. Now it's obvious that I really have been ignoring her and the job she's supposed to be doing.

"Peace." I huff again. "I don't think we've met." "You'll find it; someday you'll find it." He winks. "Trust me." "I do," I whisper. I don't know if he even heard me. But I do. I don't know why, but I do. We're quiet for the rest of the ride.

T-shirt on a rack on the back wall that reads, Epic is a state of mind. It's a black tee with faded white ink. "Nice choice. Not that I wanna steal your thunder, but I think I need that one, too." He eagerly helps me find my size.

Her eyes find mine again. "Challenge? What's that supposed to mean?" I don't want to talk to her about this. I don't want to talk to anyone about this. "It's nothing." She doesn't let it go. "It's not nothing. It's everything. It's your everything." Then she stands and leaves. I'm left here pondering what in the hell just happened. She's right. I know she's right. I need to get my ass in gear. But I can't.

After we both shower and dress, Ma drives us to the florist for two bouquets of yellow tulips. Then we stop at the convenience store for four Twix bars.

When the hum of the gun quiets, I know he's done. I open my eyes and my throat seizes when I see her words on my arm. Her words. Do epic. Damn, I loved that girl and everything she stood for.

Outside on the sidewalk, I stop in my tracks. The sun is setting. It's like fire in the sky. Bright. Brilliant. Orange. The four guys stand with me in awed silence. They know how much Bright Side loved to watch the sunset. My smile grows as the sun makes its final descent and plunges us into darkness. Bright Side was definitely in charge tonight. "That's my girl."

"Can we just lie here for a while? Like this?" he asks with a tremble in his voice. The vulnerability I hear makes my heart ache. "Sure," I answer, because in all honesty, I don't want to let go either.

Some people wear their scars on the outside. Others wear them on the inside. Same difference. Your character, your heart, your essence, that's what's important, because that's the real you. All the rest, our looks, the material stuff? It's just meaningless bullshit.

"That's the secret. You find what you love and you go for it. Life ain't about coasting. It's about pushin' the damn gas pedal all the way to the floor. Same goes for fun and love, no coasting. Pedal to the floor." She looks up at Gustov, still holding her left

"Listen to me, boy. You only get one chance at this circus called life. Don't sit in the crowd watchin' it happen. You jump right in and be the ringleader. That's where you find your fire."

There's something epic that happens every day if you look hard enough for it. And every day is a chance to go out there and do epic. The key is putting forth the effort. She did. Every fucking day she did. We all should. Is it harder?

I have to laugh at his honesty. "You're a rebel, dude," I say. He laughs with me. "I know. I'm a badass." "That you are, my friend. That you are." He is—a badass dad and a badass friend.

So, I'm playing it for her now. "I hope you're listening, Bright Side," I say out loud. I know she's around. I know that sounds weird, but sometimes I just know she's nearby. It's like a fleeting glimpse of comfort ... and then I blink and it's gone.

He smiles. "You're my everything, Scout. Everything. I love you with everything that I am. Everything I'll ever be. You're my future, sweetheart."