Gus (Bright Side, #2)

by Kim Holden

I can't stop thinking about her. Nothing specific, nothing I can visualize or recall. It's just pain and emptiness. Darkness. The light, the bright light, is gone. I'm fighting to draw calm out of the cigarette with each deep pull; to dispel the darkness.

They both understood the power of silence. Some people are threatened by silence and try to avoid it or fill it with needless bullshit. Silence isn't the enemy. It can bring comfort and clarity and validation. It's a reminder of time for what it is…presence.

Bright Side wasn't only my best friend; she was like my other half…the other half of my brain, the other half of my conscience, the other half of my sense of humor, the other half of my creativity, the other half of my heart. How do you go back to doing what you did before, when half of you is gone forever?

I was so in love with her, but she never knew it. She was funny, smart, talented, and fucking gorgeous. The most perfect creature God ever created.

"My heart hurts so fucking bad, dude," I gasp. "I miss her. I miss her so much."

"I don't know how to be Gus without her, dude. I'm fucking lost as shit."

I don't know why, but I'm smiling thinking about her. For a moment I'm filled up with light. Bright Side's light. It truly was fucking infectious.

Kate Sedgwick. That name holds so much power over me. The best kind of power: inspiring, encouraging, and respectable.

Damn, I loved that girl and everything she stood for.

Bright Side always said our music made people feel something. I think I know exactly what she meant. Because right now, I feel it.

There's something epic that happens every day if you look hard enough for it. And every day is a chance to go out there and do epic. The key is putting forth the effort.

I feel different when you're around. I feel better, like maybe I can deal with all the shit. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me want to be Gus again.

Bright Side helped make me the man I am, and Scout helped me remember who that man was, helping me become my own person. I love her so much.

And I've fallen in love with epic. It's the only way to live.