Gus (Bright Side, #2)

by Kim Holden

"I couldn't have played without you there tonight. I panicked when I got on stage and I couldn't find you in the crowd, that's why I asked you and Pax to move up front. I feel different when you're around. I feel better, like maybe I can deal with all the shit. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me want to be Gus again.

"I meant what I said earlier." A soft kiss falls on my marked cheek and my eyes shut tightly. "Pretty girl. You're beautiful." Another kiss paints another scar. "Every," another kiss, "thing," another kiss, "about," another kiss, "you," this kiss falls lower on my neck, "is fucking perfect."

"I like you, Scout. I really like you." He laces his fingers through mine. "I don't know what that means, but I feel like I can't leave in the morning without saying it. And I don't want to fall asleep alone. Stay with me?" His voice, everything about his voice, finds its way inside me and once inside, it smolders. "There's no place I'd rather be than here with you tonight." I mean it. God, do I mean it. "Thank you."

But I just want tonight to be about us and this insane, unstoppable need I have to be near you. Around you. To be your friend. To make you smile. To make you laugh. To make you happy. To protect you. I want to learn everything about you, Scout. Your past. Your present. Your future. But there's time for that tomorrow and the day after that. Tonight I just want to fall asleep with you. And tomorrow morning I want to wake up with you. I'm working on the whole living in the moment thing, and now, this moment, that's all I want."

The doorbell rings again. I yell, "Jesus fucking Christ! I'm about to cum here; go away!" "Are you talking to me?" she asks, though she doesn't sound offended, she still sounds horny as hell. "You? God no. There's someone ringing the doorbell and they won't go away. I guess they don't realize I'm in the middle of jerking off to a sexy woman on the phone right now." "Answer the door, Gus." That sounded forceful. No fucking way. "Fuck no. Keep talking." "Listen to me. I've been driving for two and half hours. I've been thinking about you all day. I've been thinking about sex with you all day. I'm so horny I can't process a coherent thought outside of what I want you to do to me. I'm wearing a dress and I already took my panties off in the car and put them in my purse. Please let me in before I masturbate on your doorstep."

I pull back until just the tip of me is still inside her and then I push back in slowly. When I'm all the way in, I urge her to lean back slightly, cup her ass in my hands, and tip her hips so I can go even deeper. When I make a final push, I gain further access and she sighs. I'm as deep as I can go.

"Damn, with the way things are going with our parents lately, we might be stepbrothers by then." I laugh because he's right. Ma's been spending a lot of weekends with Doc Banks. She's happy. Hell, I've never really seen her date before, so her relationship with him is monumental. "Did we just become best friends?" I yell at him in my best Will Ferrell impersonation. I'm quoting the movie, Step Brothers. I don't know if he'll get the reference. But when he enthusiastically answers, "Yup," I continue on quoting the movie, "Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?" "Yup," he answers, and we both start laughing. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time and it feels good. "Thanks for that, dude. I needed it."

I miss Katie, Gus. And I'll always love her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. But it's different now than it was a few months ago. It's not pain now; it's joy. I'm living my life for her, too. I'm living with purpose, but Stella and I are still having fun along the way. None of this would've been possible if it weren't for her. She taught me how to live. And how to love. I have no intention of wasting it."

"It's funny that you mention being able to feel Kate in the studio with us. I thought I was the only one. Sometimes when I'm in a groove and everything's just flowing, I swear I hear her whispering in my ear, telling me what a sexy beast I am when I play and how I was always her favorite."

I look Ma in the eye. "I think I love her, Ma." She smiles her knowing smile. "I don't think you do, honey…I know you do."

Bright Side helped make me the man I am, and Scout helped me remember who that man was, helping me become my own person. I love her so much.