I sincerely wish we were all somewhere else today. Doing anything but this, because funerals are a downer, and they suck. But since you've all been nice enough to gather together for me, I'd like to take this opportunity to lay down some ground rules. These rules go into effect this very moment and do not expire until you do. Number one: Don't cry for me. I had the most amazing life. It was worth celebrating, if I do say so myself; so when you think of me, smile, laugh, be happy. No crying. Number two: Live every day as if it's your last. I know that's cliché, and you probably think I read it
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