Don't Believe Everything You Think

by Joseph Nguyen

We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change. —Sheryl Sandberg

what we hold on to perpetuates our reality what we let go of creates new possibilities

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. —Thich Nhat Hanh

It is said that two arrows fly our way whenever we experience a negative event. Being struck by the first arrow hurts—that arrow is pain. The second arrow is our emotional reaction to the first, and often, it is even more painful than the first arrow. That second arrow is where suffering originates from. The Buddha explained, “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.” In other words, pain is unavoidable, but how we react to that pain is up to us, and that reaction will dictate whether or not we suffer.

One who looks around him is intelligent; one who looks within him is wise. —Matshona Dhliwayo

Thought is not reality, yet it is through thought that our realities are created.”

Our feelings come not from external events but from our own thinking about the events.

Which means that without our usual thinking about a particular event, our experience of it completely alters. And with this understanding, we’ve arrived at the truth I discovered after all those years of searching: The root cause of our suffering is our own thinking.

Event + Same thinking = Same experience Event + New thinking = New experience

“Do you know what is really making you angry?” Now he knew he had his answer. “It’s not other people, situations, or circumstances. It’s not the empty boat but my reaction to it that causes my anger. All the people or situations that upset me are like the empty boat. Without my reaction, they don’t have the power to make me angry.”

true freedom isn’t in having complete control of our minds but in the ability to be unattached to whatever happens in it

I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it. —Jonathan Safran Foer

If you want to be free and at peace, then you will need to let go of only listening to your mind’s fight-or-flight thinking. You are not just a product of your environment but a co-creator of it. With this understanding, you can begin to shift your experience of reality from merely surviving to truly thriving.

the path to self-actualization isn’t to try to improve ourselves because we think we’re not enough but to let go of the illusion that we’re not already enough as we are

Stop thinking and end your problems. —Lao Tzu

However, dwelling in a state of fear or negativity when there is no immediate threat to our survival is more harmful than helpful. The goal is to decrease the amount of time it takes for us to regulate our emotions and return to a state of peace when we experience something stressful.

The truth is that you do not have to have thoughts or think to feel positive emotions. Positive emotions are not a byproduct of thinking but the organic result of being fully in the present moment and connected to life rather than thinking about it.

what is external is only a reminder that we can create the internal emotion we desire what you most want to experience can only be found within you don’t wait for something outside of you to give you permission to feel how you want inside

crowded mind leaves no space for a peaceful heart. —Christine Evangelou

The first step is to pause and begin taking deep breaths to help calm our nervous systems. Deep breaths pull our focus away from the thinking mind and into our bodies, anchoring us in the present moment. This allows us to become aware of our emotions and also detach from them. Pausing creates space between our emotions and actions, giving us the opportunity to choose a new response rather than repeating the same conditioned reactions that keep us in the cycle of suffering. Without this space, change cannot exist. Space has the illusion of emptiness on the surface. It is not empty but filled with infinite possibilities for us to choose a new experience of life. Within the space between your thoughts and your thinking lies the peace you’ve been seeking. Step two is to ask yourself, “Is this thinking making me feel the way I want?” or “Do I want to keep suffering?” These questions remind us of the power we have to choose whether we want to emotionally suffer or not. If we want to keep feeling the way we do, then we can choose to do so. We’ve all had times when we are not yet ready to let the negativity pass, and that is okay. But if we want peace, we can choose it by letting go of the thinking that is causing our suffering.

P—Pause and take deep breaths to calm your nervous system and ground yourself in the present. Become aware that you are thinking, but do not judge it. A—Ask yourself, “Is this thinking making me feel the way I want?” or “Do I want to keep suffering?” If not, you always have the choice to let your thinking go in order to find peace. U—Understand that you have the choice to stop and let go of it. S—Say and repeat the mantra “Thinking is the root cause of suffering” to help quiet the mind from thinking until it subsides and passes. E—Experience your emotions fully without judgment, resistance, or thinking (don’t think; just feel).

Mushin is achieved when [the] mind is free of random thoughts, free of anger, free of fear, and particularly free of ego. It applies during combat and/or other facets of life. When mushin is achieved during combat, there is an absence of loose or rambling thoughts. It leaves the practitioner free to act and react without hesitation. He reacts according to all of the study and training that has brought [him] to this point. Relying on not what you think should be your next move but on what your trained, instinctive, subconscious reaction directs you to do.

you cannot think your way into flow just as much as you cannot think your way into love both are a natural occurrence when we let go and allow the full authentic expression of ourselves to come forth they are a byproduct of surrender and trust

When we create goals out of inspiration, we are not creating from a place of lack. We don’t create because we feel like we have to or we need more. We create because we want to. This type of creation is an overflowing of love and joy for life. This is the reason why most of us want or have children—not because we want something from them but because we want to share the abundance of what we have with them.

created out of desperation. Goals from desperation are typically rooted in fear and make your happiness conditional on achieving them. Goals from inspiration are rooted in love and focus more on the joy of doing over the outcome.

If I had infinite money, had no fear, and didn’t feel the need to receive any recognition, what would I do or create?

an intelligent person is constantly learning a wise person is always unlearning

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. —Steve Jobs

All the magic happens in this space of nothingness. For instance, all athletes go through intense training periods, but the best athletes know that they need an equally intense period of rest afterward to stay in peak performance. It is during this rest period that they recover, build muscle, and become stronger. The space they create through rest is where the progress they want from the workout manifests.

Just like how rest is required for us to perform our best, space is required to help us discover the best ideas.