He Who Fights with Monsters 6 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #6)

by Shirtaloon

“As long as they’re not from Evangelion,” he muttered to himself. “That show is way more messed up than Lovecraft.”

“See,” Farrah complained. “Even dying makes him come back stronger. That guy could fall into a pit trap and he’d crawl out with a beautiful woman and a sack of cash.”

he found himself alone and talking to himself. He was eager for Shade to be released so he had someone to make wildly outdated and barely relevant pop culture references to. “Time to get to work.”

Jason looked at the double doors leading to the outside and whatever new challenges lay beyond. “Don’t open them both,” he admonished himself. “You only need one door. Opening them both would be cheesy and melodramatic. For once, don’t be a chuuni and go through just one door. Like a regular person.” He walked up and pushed both doors open. “I guess, in life, you have to be true to yourself.”

“I think he’s going to explode or go full Cronenberg,” Jason yelled in warning.

he paused after spotting a poster in the menswear section advertising the Bertinelli Collection. It wasn’t the time to go browsing clothes, so he moved on. “I have to check that out after I have this shootout with that small army of astronauts.” He paused again. “I know the fate of the world is at stake and I might die, but sometimes I just love my life.”

“Now, getting some magic weapons was useful and all, but now for the real boost in power. It’s time for a pants upgrade.”

“It’s still not about killing monsters,” he told his reflection in a wall mirror. “It’s about how good you look while killing monsters.”

How is a magical fairy town not wildly incongruous? It looks like a children’s book, or a mobile app hiding its predatory business model behind adorable graphic design.”

CRYSTAL WASH OUT OF STOCK – THANK YOU FOR VISITING JORY’S FRIENDLY LOCAL PHARMACY.

Jason flashed her a grin. “I’m not just anyone.” She narrowed her eyes at him again. “You’re quite full of yourself, aren’t you?” Jason let out a laugh. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I am.”

You may no longer be human, but your human nature remains.” “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” “It has good and bad points. Humans are poor at objectively assessing their circumstances. They can be irrational in ways that are destructive to themselves and the people around them. You know this.”

“You’re an adventurer, Mr Asano. Get up and go do your damn job.”

“Must have been really important information,” Jason said. “Like a really good sausage recipe.”

“Please don’t be juvenile, Mr Asano.” “You think it’s beneath me to say?” “No, Mr Asano. It is beneath me to listen.”

With each cluster of the zomborgs, as Jason thought of them,

He thought about the early days and his training with Rufus, Gary and Farrah. For all their constant drilling, they never focused on his essence powers, leaving them to Jason to understand for himself. What they had taught him were the universal aspects true to every adventurer. Whatever an adventurer’s powers might be, their greatest weapon was mindset.

It turned into a wet mess like charcoal mixed into custard,

“You are different, Mr Asano. Before you and I ever met, Mr Remore and Miss Hurin set you on a path towards a certain state of mind. It exists somewhere between concentration and meditation; it is a paradoxically simultaneous state of empty mind and full attentiveness. It is a state that only essence users who have surpassed the limitation of the physical brain can enter, although many never do. It has many names across the cosmos; in Miss Hurin’s world, it is called the battle trance.”

Your spirit domain has claimed a territory. Territory has been renamed [Steamforge Circuit].

If Jason’s soul had been weaker, the pain inflicted would likely have scarred it, pushing it to grow stronger. Compared to what he had experienced in the past, though, this was insufficient to even make a dent.

“I need more women friends,” she said grumpily, getting to her feet. “Men are willing to melodrama themselves to death.”

“It’s a delightful passenger craft on which to spend a carefree afternoon with my family.” “On the way to your volcano lair? Next, you’ll be building a space station in the shape of your own head.”

“I can’t wait for gold rank. I need to start eating vampires.” “What?” Erika asked. “I mean, training super hard.”

Shade turned to Spencer. “Why is there an ancient vampire amongst you?” “He’s working with us,” Anna said. “Is that a problem?” “On the contrary,” Shade said. “Mr Asano’s last ancient vampire spoiled while he was here dealing with the transformation zone. He has been looking for a fresh one.”

I will give my grandmother the authority to act on my behalf when it comes to administering this place.” “Then shouldn’t she be in here with us?” “I haven’t told her yet,” Jason said. “Are you certain she’ll agree to do that?” “She will if I threaten to do it myself.”

“As your lives were mine to reap, so your deaths are mine to harvest.”

“Just pull it out and do your best,” she said. “No one is expecting much.” “I wish women would stop telling me that,” Travis muttered.

“Is that a belt-fed pistol?” Ingrid asked. “I call it the Compensator,” Travis said. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Ingrid said. “What? No, not for that. I’m fine in that area. Perfectly fine.” “It’s alright,” she assured him.

Do you have apples?” “Magic apples.” “Oh, wow. Wait, aren’t magic apples usually evil?” “These are the good ones,” Jason said. “That’s exactly what you’d tell someone if you wanted them to eat an evil magic apple.” Farrah shook her head and followed after them. “Great,” she muttered. “There’s two of them now.”

“I know, Mr Asano. But please keep in mind that it’s a soul, not a whittling stick.”

Is this how you keep your organisation in line? Saying common sense stuff while doing a Morgan Freeman impression?”

The necromancer’s face took on a twisted grin. “I’ve taken lots of parts from people that weren’t meant to come out.”

thought it would be amazing to be a famous hero, but I was naïve. Again. It’s not clean. The situations are ugly and so are the solutions. People see things how they want to, even when the truth is both completely different and blindingly obvious.”

“Caution is not about avoiding battles, Mr Asano. It’s about choosing them well.”

“Did someone tell you that you’re good at cheering people up? They lied.”

the smith spends all his time in a wine-soaked heap. You’re not an onion, Gareth, so stop trying to pickle yourself.”

“Comfortable is an animal unaware it’s waiting to be slaughtered.”

You had to see, to remember who you are.” “And who is that?” “Someone who cares enough that losing people can break him.”

“Knowledge does not give you the answers you want,” Danielle said. “She gives you the answers you need.”