The Flamingo's Fated Mate (Lawn Ornament Shifters, #1)

by Elva Birch

She put her hand over her face and Frank realized he’d just watched someone actually, physically, facepalm.

It was hard to think around Frank’s flamingo, who was still stuck on the snuggle idea, and besides that, was pretty sure that the way to her heart was through dancing. If there was one thing Frank knew, it was that he was completely making a hash of this introduction and that bobbing his head and flapping his elbows was very unlikely to improve matters.

Anita was surprised by how strong and confident Frank’s second handshake was, given that he sometimes looked like he was having an argument with someone in his head...and was losing.

I must have been in college before I realized that it wasn’t pronounced whores devours! I thought it was some kind of kinky French thing for an embarrassingly long time

absolutely dead lol

“Are we going to freeze to death in here?” she wanted to know morbidly. Then she brightened. “Oh, but that will keep the food from going bad, at least!”

Girls got her priorities straight

She had never realized how sexy someone eating things off a stick could be.

“Bodies,” Frank said with a shrug. “They always want inconvenient things, like food and sleep.” And sex, his flamingo added hopefully. That’s not helping anything, he replied with gritted teeth.

Anita noticed Frank’s hard-on. It was hard not to notice. Anita promptly rearranged the emphasis in her head. It was hard not to notice.

*face palm*

“Do you…like birds?” he asked unexpectedly.

Same vibes as "you like jazz" from bee movie

Flock, his flamingo murmured. She was everything he’d never known to miss. He thought his career had been fulfilling, that his success had been satisfying, but now that he’d met Anita, he understood what it meant to be complete.

“Gnome sweet gnome.”

And thus book two was named

“Anita, it’s kind of on that topic. That is, I want to be perfectly frank with you...” Frank’s sudden seriousness made Anita nervous. “Are you being Frank? Cause Anita moment.”

*face palm* is this how the chacters got their names? XD

His flamingo honked in fury.

Im mad too. But the idea of an angry honking flmingo is komda killing me

“You aren’t bad at people,” Frank countered. “People were bad at you. You should be able to be nice to people without turning them into crazy stalkers. I want you to be nice.”

Preach!

“I wasn’t asking you, you cotton candy goose,” Harriet snarked.

New insult unlocked

My flamingo thinks you’re swell To tell the truth, I do as well. You came into my life with snow You brought with you a happy glow. I know you are my destiny, Please say you will stay with me.

“I should always stop one sentence earlier,” she said sheepishly. “Never stop one sentence earlier,” Frank said firmly. “I want to know your every last sentence forever.”