The Serpent and the Wings of Night (Crowns of Nyaxia, #1)

by Carissa Broadbent

The king did not know then that his greatest love would also be his ruination—nor that either would come in the form of a tiny, helpless human child.

This was not the stare of a panicked child who didn’t know what she was doing. This was the stare of a creature who understood she was confronting death itself, and still chose to spit in its face.

Hundreds of years later, historians and scholars would look back upon this moment. This decision that, one day, would topple an empire. What a strange choice, they would whisper. Why would he do this? Why, indeed. After all, vampires know better than anyone how important it is to protect their hearts. And love, understand, is sharper than any stake.

Asteris—among the most powerful of the Nightborn vampires’ magical gifts, and the rarest. Pure energy said to be derived from stars, manifested as blinding black light capable of killing instantly at full force. Vincent’s mastery of it was peerless. I’d once witnessed him use it to level an entire building of Rishan rebels.

Death isn’t frightening when weighed against an insignificant existence.”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak. That was fucking Asteris.

This, I knew, was Vincent telling me that he loved me. No one had ever said those words to me—at least, not that I could ever remember.

I half expected the ancient stone to crumble under his weight—he was truly a wall of a creature, big enough to even look it when surrounded by gods-damned demons. And yet, he moved with surprising grace, like he knew his body well.

Your scent is all over the Moon Palace right now. I could smell you even from the east tower. And let me tell you, you smell fucking delicious.

“Do you? Or is an inch all you have to offer?”

I couldn’t decide if he looked more or less intimidating this way—more, because he looked a bit unhinged, or less, because I appreciated all of these unpolished things more than I appreciated any other aspect of him.

“I spent a lot of time alone, before. I didn’t realize how important it was to really have someone. To have someone who would just—who would kill for you. You know?”

“Maybe our skin doesn’t scar the same as yours, but our hearts do. Sometimes they never heal.”

“At least she isn’t afraid anymore,” I said. “No,” Mische replied, thoughtfully. “I’d guess not. But she’s probably awfully unhappy, don’t you think?”

And yet, even in that crowd, I found Vincent right away—right there in the front, watching me with abject horror, as if his own heart had been carved out and thrust into my hands. It struck me, all at once, exactly how much Vincent loved me.

“Don’t let them take her,” I begged again. The edges of my vision grew dark. And Raihn leaned very close to me—closer than I ever allowed anyone—as he murmured, solemn as a vow, “I won’t.”

I may be the serpent, but even snakes run for cover when hawks soar overhead.

“It’s that unbelievable that I have respect for human life?” he snapped. “I used to fucking be one of them.”

PAUSE. Love this turn of events

“You know, part of the reason why I wanted to ally with you was because of that look. That fucking face. It’s just so… so…” He clamped his lips shut, and his features twitched as if he was getting ready to mimic me and then—wisely—thought better of it. “Forget it.”

“I have no regrets. I’d throw you out that window again.” “Oh, I know, princess. I know.”

I noticed for the first time that we were sitting quite close to each other, less than an arm’s length apart. I noticed this, and I did not move.

But all living creatures desire. Is that weakness?

“I have plenty of self-control, Oraya,” he murmured. “Don’t you worry about me.”

My humanness had been the reason why I’d spent a lifetime dimming myself. For these people, it was the reason they burned brighter.

“You’re safe, Oraya,” he murmured in my ear. “Just hold on.”

I LOVE how he keeps reminding her of this

And as if he knew—as if he sensed my fear—Raihn’s thumb traced a circle over my back in one gentle, wordless reassurance. It startled me, that touch. It startled me because it comforted me. I didn’t think it was possible to find a touch comforting ever again.

“Get the fuck away from her,”

The smirk was gone. “What’s that?” “Nothing. A little cut.” “What happened, Oraya?” The intensity of his voice struck me in places I didn’t expect.

it’s HAPPENINGGGG

And then I realized. I realized that fear, when embraced, hardens and sharpens. That it becomes rage. That it becomes power.

He was on his knees, staring up at me. And that—the way he looked at me—was the first thing that felt real. Real, and raw, and… and confusing. Because he looked at me in sheer awe—like I was the most incredible thing he had ever seen. Like I was a fucking goddess.

“Only enough to wait for you.”

stoppp I love this

“Don’t be so quick to throw away your humanity, Oraya,” he said. “You might find you miss it once it’s gone.”

“I’ve lived through some injustices in the last couple of centuries. Seen some fucking travesties. But one of the biggest, Oraya, is that anyone taught you that you should become anything other than exactly what you are.”

“That wasn’t how I’d imagined making you come for the first time,” he remarked.

AHHHHH

And I tried not to notice that he clearly noticed all these things, too. That the muscles of his throat, so close now, flexed with a swallow. That his hands fell to my waist immediately, like they had already been waiting for me.

“The things I’ve thought about. ‘Want’ doesn’t even fucking cover it. I have a list.”

“You are the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen, Oraya.”

“Don’t fucking touch her,” he growled as black light cracked through the air, his Asteris awoken with fresh power.

It only made vampires more dangerous. They could love you, and still kill you.

Strange, that girls are so often told that the loss of their virginity marks a threshold between girlhood and womanhood, as if it fundamentally alters them in some way. It was not the sex that changed the girl forever. Not the blood that spilled between her thighs that shaped her. The blood that spilled over that marble floor, though… Those are the stains on one’s innocence that never fade.

For five seconds in a lifetime of centuries, he felt that powerlessness. When it had been bred into us, tattooed into our souls, for our entire brief pitiful existences.

I came into this world fighting. I’d leave it fighting. And I’d fight to cover every soft spot or vulnerability, and right now, I felt as if my entire body—my entire soul—was a raw wound to be protected.

His eyes softened as they flicked back to me. I really did try not to notice, or care, that they drank me in the same way he drank in sunshine.

Whatever spark we had ignited in the cave hadn’t been put out, only dampened. It roared back to life hotter and deadlier than before. And right now, I wanted nothing more than to burn alive in it.

The most terrible honest thing of all was that with Raihn, it was all honest—it always had been. He saw too much of me. Understood every complexity and senseless duality. I was honest even when I didn’t mean to be. He did not fear my darkness, nor pity my compassion.

And the truth was, the idea of dying without knowing him completely was torturous.

“I would beg,” he murmured. “For you, I would. You have fucking destroyed me, Oraya. Do you know that?”

He had destroyed me, too. Perhaps it was good that we would die tomorrow. Because I didn’t know how to remake myself after this.

But in this moment, I came to the horrifying realization that I would never be able to carve Raihn from my heart. He had embedded too deep. Roots through stone.

And he whispered, “There she is.”

I’m gonna bawl my eyes out