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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Brant Hansen
Read between
April 2 - April 16, 2023
The vision is this: We men are at our best when we are “keepers of the garden.” This means we are protectors and defenders and cultivators. We are at our best when we champion the weak and vulnerable. We are at our best when we use whatever strength we have to safeguard the innocent and provide a place for people to thrive. This is the job Adam was given: keeper of the garden.
If you’re married, you’ll realize that your wife sees something in you—or at least saw something in you. It’s the man you could be, and she’s still hoping you become that. Even if she’s never articulated it, she knows you’re at your best when you are a source of security for those in your sphere of influence.
Masculinity is about taking responsibility. We naturally respect men who take responsibility for themselves. We have even more respect for those who go beyond themselves to their families. And we have immense respect for men who take responsibility for those well outside their own homes. We are “masculine” not to the extent that we body-build or achieve sexual conquests or fix stuff, but to the extent that we are faithful to the job of being humble, consistent, dedicated keepers of the garden.
We’re all called to be keepers and protectors in our spheres of influence, whatever and wherever they are.
Imagine men like you and me taking whatever strength we are given to defend and expand that kingdom rather than our own temporary, throwaway, little ones that will never last. Imagine if we approached life like this: “Adam didn’t do the job. But with whatever I have, I’m going to do it. I have a mission, and I accept it.”
A passive man becomes useless to those around him. What’s more—and this may seem counterintuitive—a passive man is a threat to the woman in his life.
Since masculinity is about the taking of responsibility, it means squarely owning up to our own failures and the things we need to do.
But I’ve made a commitment to living a real life. This is part of my arrangement with God. He’s given me one life, and I’m going to be loyal to him. He wants me to be fully me and fully present. He put me here, and no one else has the exact same circumstances. No one else is around the exact same people. I have a role to play, and I need to show up for it. He’s given me a garden to keep, and I’m going to keep it.
You are created purposefully, so not fulfilling that purpose isn’t just an opportunity missed, it’s a tragedy, and you and the people who love you can sense it.
If you don’t do something, don’t just assume it will get done. Your life is deeply meaningful, one way or another. Your efforts matter. Your work matters. You’re the only one uniquely placed in your position in the world. No one else is in your exact context. If someone needs encouragement and you don’t provide it, it’s quite possible they will not be encouraged. If someone needs their existence acknowledged and you are in a position to do that but take a pass, it’s possible no one will acknowledge it. Yes, God wants it done, and yes, he has the power to do it. That’s why he put you there.
You will struggle with feeling meaningless when you choose to invest your time and energy in meaningless things.
Words are powerful. They matter. And people—most people, I’ve realized—are actually starved for encouragement. It’s not just about me getting my needs met. I can think about others. It’s worth it, even if I feel dumb sometimes.
Anything truly poetic we experience in life will be the result of embracing limits.
We don’t like being bound to things. We like being open and available to a better option that might present itself. It’s human. (Adam and Eve fell for this kind of thinking.) But that’s not how real freedom is found. Ironically, we find more freedom when we bind ourselves to the right things—to life-giving things and things that last.
I know my wife is every bit my equal. I know she’s highly intelligent and strong and creative and funny. I know she can survive with or without me. But it’s my goal to see her thrive and flourish. I believe in her so strongly, I’m excited about what she can yet become.
The point of real love is to want your loved one to thrive and flourish. It may mean—and in marriage it will mean—self-sacrifice. This is the kind of love that redeems and sustains, the kind that sees potential and promise even when the beloved may not see it.
If you’re going to use the word “love,” if you tell a woman that you love her, remember this: At the very heart of love, real love, is security. It means “I choose you. I will not stop choosing you.” It means “I will not abandon you.”
Who we become is within our control. It’s not a mystery. It’s predictable. How? Who we become is a direct result of what we pay attention to.
Choose the people around you, the people closest to you, wisely. You’ll become like them. Their thinking will shape yours. They will help you order—or disorder—your values and desires. They will affect your attitude toward life itself. Do not underestimate this.
But a man who is able to sit and listen, to root for others, to be a voice of affirmation and guidance with no significant payoff in mind? Yeah, that guy is refreshing.
You can be the guy who’s a source of significance and blessing for others. You’ll still struggle with yourself, but you’ll become more and more like Jesus. The enemy tempted him with everything the world had to offer. Power! Significance! Prestige! And Jesus said no. He didn’t need it. He knew who he was.
God isn’t looking for a scrubbed-up life. If that was his main goal for you, he could force it. He wants way more than that. He’s looking for the real you to be loyal to the real him. That’s when the adventure begins.
Spirituality isn’t measured in goose bumps.
Don’t let others convince you you’re not enough, you don’t know enough, or you don’t have the expertise. You can do this today.
When we men take our roles seriously, when we’re at our best, those are the kinds of things that happen. Healing. Peace. Life.
No one operates in a vacuum. There is no such thing as private sin. And there is no such thing as private virtue. Who you are reverberates through your home and neighborhood and the world.