Be With Me (Adair Family #4)

by Samantha Young

“You are good. From the tips of your toes to the ends of your curls … you’re nothing but good, through and through.”

“There’s always someone to be on your team. Just because Uncle Arran is on Lewis’s team sometimes doesn’t mean you don’t have someone on yours. And the other great thing about family is that it teaches us to share our love. Sometimes Lewis will need Arran, and you have to be okay with that and vice versa, right?”

I was afraid there could never be a woman who matched her. She’d fucking ruined me.

“Please.” His expression turned tender. “Fuck,” he whispered. “For the rest of my life, all you’ll have to do is say that word, and I’ll be putty in your hands.”

His blue eyes clouded with a mix of tenderness and frustration. “I didn’t mean to do this here … I just … I want more. I want a relationship with you, but you won’t give me that. And I don’t want to hide what I feel from you, let alone anyone else. I have real feelings for you, Eredine. This isn’t just sex.” He ran a hand through his hair and let out a huff of sad laughter. “If I’m honest, it never was.”

“No one can make promises going into a relationship, Ery. It’s a gamble everyone takes, not knowing if or when it will end. How much it’ll hurt. But it’s a risk worth taking when you feel this way.” He gave me a little shake with a tender smile. “Do you know how rare it is to have this connection? I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“A kilt is not a dress,” Thane, Lachlan, Mac, and Arran said in unison. I snorted with laughter as Lewis made a face and replied, “Aw right, keep your hair on.”

“It’s really hard to make yourself vulnerable to someone, isn’t it?” Natalia said, her expression introspective. “To have them know that their mood affects yours, their actions determine your day, their nearness affects your contentment. So much power to give one person. In the wrong hands, they could play you until you’re broken.” Her gaze was sympathetic. “But we’re all a wee bit broken, anyway, so maybe it’s worth the risk. Who knows? The right person might even heal some of the cracks.”

Clasping my face in his hands, Arran looked deep in my eyes. “Now you listen to me, Eredine Willows. You did all you could to protect Kia. To get justice for her. Sometimes corruption wins, and it’s fucking awful, and I can’t even imagine the depth of your anger … but the very fact that you live each day treating everyone with patience and kindness and gentleness … I have never met anyone as strong or as good as you. And I won’t let you feel guilty for doing something I know, without even having known her, that your sister would have wanted you to do. You lived, Ery. You’re living. And maybe this new you is broken, but we’re all a little broken. I just need you to be you. I’m not going anywhere.”

I nestled next to the woman at my side who elicited feelings I honestly never thought myself capable of. Not once did it cross my mind to be afraid of her baggage, to worry if I had the emotional capacity to support her. I only cared about protecting her from any more hurt. About making sure I was there for her in case opening that trunk had opened old wounds.

“Jealousy doesn’t disappear because you trust your partner. Jealousy is an unfavorable aspect of human nature. We’re territorial creatures. That’s a fact. I still want to pop people’s heads off when they flirt with Mac. Even more so now.” She touched her belly. “That’s normal, I think. The problems arise when you mistrust your partner out of jealousy. That’s not the same thing as someone flirting with your man or knowing they’ve had sex with him in the past.”

“How did it used to feel?” She considered this and then replied, “I imagine how it feels to be an actor or even a storyteller. Pure escapism into another person, into another story. It sparks my imagination like a beautiful piece of music does, or my favorite book. I’ve missed that feeling.” “So then dance for yourself. You don’t need to dance for anyone else.”

“Nothing you ever do will take away that gratitude. But you have to stop treating me like I’m a delicate flower that will break in half at the slightest breeze. I’m a grown woman. Your brothers and sister are grown-ups too. And while I think we will all always need you, you are not solely responsible for fixing our problems. I’m not fragile, and they’re no longer kids who need a parent. It doesn’t have to be all on you. Let us be a team now. Keep us in the loop. Make decisions with us, not for us. Okay?”