How to Kill Your Family
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Read between September 25 - October 6, 2023
2%
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After all, almost nobody else in the world can possibly understand how someone, by the tender age of 28, can have calmly killed six members of her family. And then happily carried on with the rest of her life, never to regret a thing.
6%
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Later on, the man drowns. When he gets to heaven, he meets God, and says, ‘Father, I had faith, I believed in you, I stayed true. Why did you let me drown?’ And God looks exasperated (and why wouldn’t he, this man is an idiot), and says, ‘David, I sent you the emergency services, a boat, and a helicopter. Why are you here??’
6%
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‘All human wisdom is contained in these two words, “Wait and Hope”.’
7%
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Run away from any man who says that you’re beautiful but you don’t know it.
17%
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Ironic really, in the Alanis Morissette definition (who really understands what irony is anyway?), that I’d spent so long trying to smuggle my way into the Artemis inner circle and my cousin had broken out just as determinedly.
24%
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Self-care is the latest consumerist trend pushed at women wrapped up as empowerment.
31%
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He promised that the party days were over, talking about creating a future where she could be the boss in the family. How little men promise. How much we grasp at it.
40%
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I learnt that the more knots you tie in a rope, the more you weaken it. So you need one strong knot.
72%
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This was just a bored young woman wielding power because dissatisfaction is currency in a way that kindness is not.