For the Love of Layla

by Callie Moss

I have to see her. My good mood is immediately diminished by the realization that she just marched her cute little ass out here at the first sign of danger. What if some strange man was out here, lying in wait for you? Blistering hot anger bubbles up in my chest at the thought of anyone but me putting their hands on her soft skin. Gripping the gentle slope of her neck. It seems lately anger has been my primary setting. She’s destroyed everything. Our life, love, my fucking sanity.

lightly flicking our dog in the nose. Sorry girl, your mom would flip if she saw me. Peaches sneezes in protest, backing up until she bumps into Layla, knocking her down, “Christ, Peaches! Get inside.” Peaches whines in protest, no doubt glancing back my way before trotting back through the door. I trained her well, always on guard for Layla.

Layla is mine. My little star, my only fucking love. The reason my chest rises and falls. Why my eyes open every morning and my heart forces blood through my veins. It’s all for her. Her forgetting that fact could force me to do something horrible, something we would never come back from. An overly territorial one hundred- and twenty-two-pound bullmastiff is an effective failsafe.

The things I’ll do for you, little star… I'll wait another half hour before I try to slip in again, relaxing on the balcony. Pretending this was just a normal night, like she didn’t rip my heart from my chest and cast me away the moment I let myself slip. Let myself feel too much, too suddenly. She’s so beautiful. I had no choice but to fall so dangerously deep into her orbit.

When I met my little star, I unknowingly turned that neurotic part of myself on her. She consumed me. I would have it no other way.

Men like me don’t have to knock. Spiders don’t announce themselves before they devour the cockroaches caught in their webs.

Her high-pitched voice is like nails on chalkboard. For a moment I wonder what sound she would make if I cut her tongue from her mouth all together. No, she’s probably just scared of whatever shitty, monotonous task he’ll stick her with, punishing her for letting me past.

Until Layla, she strips me bare in all the most horrible and beautiful ways. I’ll be dammed if I’m ever put back together again. If this is the way she wants me, bare I’ll be.

My casual use of his first name is intentional. Stripping him of his power only fuels his fire. Good, this would bore me otherwise.

“Look, I don’t know what she said to you, but you know how women like that are. Always throwing their blown-out pussies at men in power. She practically begged me to touch her with all those little skin tight skirts she wears.” She begged you to? My anger detonates, jerking my head back and sending it forward into his face, head-butting him so hard he grunts falling back into his chair. I barely feel the sharp pain that splays across my forehead. “She begged you to fucking touch her? That’s the story you want to go with?”

“She didn’t ask for shit!” Slam! “Nobody fucking touches her!” Slam! “She’s mine!” Slam! “Mine!”

My Layla… She’s mine. The thought of his hands on her… He lets his head slump to the desk, his hands flat on either side of his head, “All this over a whore?” He gurgles, spitting blood from his mouth. Bad move.

She’s mine. I reassure myself for the millionth time since last night. All mine.

“Mr. Danvers, I got the-” My heart stops as Layla takes in the scene in front of her, her amber-colored eyes twisting in horror. I told you to stay home today, disobedient little star. “Oh, my god! Oh my god, Liam. What the fuck have you done?”

Her concern for him only adds to my foul mood. You shouldn’t fucking care. They aren’t the right words, but they come anyway as heat bubbles in my chest, “Why the fuck do you care?” The way she looks at me makes my stomach roll, twisting into knots. I take a deep breath, “Baby, I told you there would be consequences for his actions.”

“I thought you meant you’d fire him, not try to kill him!” She snaps. Fucking hell, this went south fast.

He smiles at me, flashing a row of perfectly straight white teeth before chuckling. The sound does weird things to my chest. If this is the standard for attractiveness, we’re all fucked.

I wish I felt something. I haven’t even been interested in anyone else since I broke things off with Liam. My heart drops at the thought of him, I wish I didn’t miss him. The side of him I saw that day…I mean, I knew what he was like when he got upset, but I’d never seen him direct that on another person before.

Men that know they’re hot are usually obnoxious about it. Which is definitely not hot.

There was an odd and wonderful intensity I came to expect with Liam. I didn’t mind it, not at all. It was actually nice the way he fixated on me. His attention to detail was always something I admired about him. Something I had never experienced before, and never will again. He made me feel special. Like only I existed to him.

Liam never wanted us to have our phones while we ate, which I didn’t mind. It feels weird still, after these past months alone. Adjusting to life without him, slowly realizing how odd his behavior was. Even if it worked for me for the most part, I can acknowledge how far from normal he was. Or as Ava puts it, creepy, obsessive and toxic.

I can’t help but smile as his face lights up, “We start at seven. My name is James, by the way.” “Well James, we’ll be there. This is Layla and my name is Ava.” His eyes meet mine, “Pretty name.” Nodding and smirking as he heads off to get our receipt. Butterflies fill my stomach for the first time in months as I meet Ava’s hopeful eyes.

“You’re being dramatic. It’s been two weeks tops. Could’ve been sooner if you weren’t getting dicked down every night.” She gasps as we make it to my car, “Slut shaming in 2022?” “Not slut shaming, Ava shaming.” She laughs,

Seeing him shouldn’t affect me like this, not after all this time. My hands shake as I grip the steering wheel tightly. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way; I didn’t cry when I broke it off with him. Not for the first few weeks. It was okay, freeing even. It didn’t hurt until the littlest things started to make me think of him. How well he complimented my everyday life. Providing the affection I craved and then some.

Seeing him must’ve fucked with my anxiety as most things do. Yay for me. I’ve always struggled to keep it in check.

If it wasn’t for her being here, I don’t know what I would do. Set up camp outside your therapist’s office. Cry a lot. Lose yourself to the abyss. The last one might be a bit melodramatic.

It’s been months and all of this still feels so…wrong. Like Liam fucked my heart so thoroughly everything after him seems underwhelming,

“If you peek again, I will edge that sweet cunt of yours until you cry.” He warns, the threat sending heat to my core. I should peek. I really, really should.

He’s pretty cute when he’s trying to impress me. Which never takes much.

It looks like a set from a movie, not something someone does in real life. Much less for someone you’ve been dating for less than a month, “Wait, you made this?” This is husband stuff. Let you put it in my butt level sweet.

“I thought you didn’t like it.” He admits shyly, avoiding my eyes for a moment. God it’s cute. “No, it’s just, you didn’t have to go through all this trouble for…me. I’m nothing special.” I gasp as his hand grips my chin tightly, his brows knitted together.

“Never say that again. You are everything, Layla. And you’re mine now. Just mine, right?” My eyes widen at the gravelly tone in his voice, “Yours.” I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how quickly he shifts moods. He smiles, letting out a breath I didn’t realize he was holding. I was holding mine too. “You’re so fucking good for me. Perfect, and you deserve the world.”

A momentary distraction to what seems to be my new permanently sour mood. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why do I care? He was insane, quick-tempered, possessive and insecure. In all the six months we were together, I only ever scratched the surface of him, and even I know I saw more than most. There was something else there, something dangerously broken. Had he not done what he did that day, I might’ve even fallen in love with him. Or maybe you already did.

He almost killed Mr. Danvers in a crowded office without so much as a hint of remorse. The way he justified it, so sure of himself and his intentions. Like it was a perfectly reasonable reaction to his girlfriend getting groped. The smile on his face when he turned to me, blood splatter mingling with his freckled cheeks, sends shivers down my spine even now.

Still, none of that was as bad as when I told Liam I was done. The look in his eyes still gives me chills, the eerie calmness to his expression seemed like an attack more than anything. I was…insulted. I thought he would fight me. Fight for me. Even just a little. He didn’t apologize or promise to do better. He didn’t do anything. He just stared at me…those intense eyes boring into my soul the way he does. So much time passed under his gaze I thought he’d fucking lost it for a second. He didn’t say a word. Not fucking one. Six months of his undivided attention, of his world shattering love and he said nothing when I threw it away. It was all lies, from the very start.

“People wear many faces, Layla. If you leave it up to them to show you the difference between them, you’ll always be in the dark.”

“I panic ordered.” Her date, whom I’m in no rush to learn the real name of, considering she’ll block him after this, gives me a weird look while Ava laughs. My cheeks flush as I look down at the thin silver rings adorning my slender fingers, “It’s a thing.” I say it out loud, but mostly to myself. It’s a thing…perfectly normal thing.

“You bet on me?” Ava winks, sticking the crumpled bill into her purse, “You always panic order at least one drink at the bar. Easy money.” “Your ethics are questionable at best.” I mutter, turning to her date, “She cries during sex just so you know.” Ava smirks, completely unbothered giving the guy a loaded look, “I’m a passionate lover.”

I want to go home. “Hey, I know this might be a little forward, but if you’re down there’s an after party at my house. You should be my date.” His green eyes light up as he slips his hand down my arm. I glance at Ava, not really sure how to respond. Do I want to go? Just do it. Something has to change, force it to.

I can’t help the small twinkling of butterflies in my stomach before I down the last of my drink. That’s a good sign, right? I don’t remember the last time I had butterflies that wasn’t involving him.

pulling out my phone. I almost don’t turn it on. Almost. The nagging curiosity about the repeated calls overrides my better judgment. It doesn’t take long for my phone to buzz rapidly. One, two, ten, twelve texts flooding in. What the fuck? Unknown: Pick up the phone. Unknown: Where do you think you’re going? Unknown: Why would you wear that? Unknown: Answer the fucking phone! Unknown: Don’t you dare ignore me. Unknown: I’m only doing this because I care, don’t be afraid. Unknown: If he fucking touches you again, you’ll be sorry. It continues like that.

My hand shakes as it hovers over the green answer button. Ring. Don’t answer it. Ring Seriously, don’t do it. Ring. Click. I pause for a moment before speaking, the anxiety clear in my voice despite my most valiant efforts to mask it, “Hello? Who is this?” Silence. I hear some kind of shuffling around, static almost before upbeat old timey music fills the speaker, a small soft voice singing faintly. “I know You belong to somebody Somebody knew But tonight You belong To me.” My throat swells as my breath becomes unsteady, “Who the fuck is this?” A deep voice cuts through the song, sending chills up my spine, “I know we’re apart, but you’re part, part of my heart and tonight you belong to me.”

I want to grab her, slip my hand over her mouth so she can’t scream, and drag her back home. Back where she belongs, I can’t trust her anymore. She’s my everything, my world, and here he is touching her. Flirting with her and she’s allowing it. Enjoying it.

If the texts and calls had started too soon after our breakup she would’ve put two and two together far too easily. I’m not ready for you to know, not yet anyway. Not until I’ve broken you down to your core and stripped you bare. Don’t worry, I’ll build you back up once we get there. I’ll always build you back up, take care of you. Even when you don’t think you need it. You should’ve listened to my warning, little star. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. This is your fault, Layla.

listening through the device I installed on her phone shortly after we started dating. I know, I know. It’s not right, but she’s mine. I want to keep her safe. I want what’s best for her, even if she doesn’t see it that way at first.

Every moment away from her is a fucking battle. Fighting the urge to take her sweet body, chain her and lock her away from the world. So I can fuck, touch and hold her anytime I want. I don’t just want her at my side, I want to consume her. Merge our bodies, so she’s always with me. Bound to me until I take my last breath. I need her. I’ve never needed anything like I do her, not food, not air or water.

She hasn’t even noticed what I left for her at home, but I know she’ll like it. She likes the way silver looks on her skin, so do I. It compliments her. We’ll be together soon, don’t worry, little star.

“It was great. Honestly, you have an amazing voice.” I grind my teeth, gripping the handle of the knife so tightly it bites into my skin. You like his voice, little star? He beams down at her, his stupid boyish smile masking the heat in his eyes. But not from me. I can see you clearly.

She hesitates. My sweet little star hesitates, and my chest fills with hope. You can save him, Layla, you can say no. Go home and this ends here. “Fifteen minutes it is.” I bite down on my inner cheek; a bubble of laughter trickles up my throat. That was the wrong answer, Layla. I can’t wait for you to see what I do next. He leans down, kissing the top of her head as I grip the table. The sound of her adorable shy giggle rips through my heart like an ice pick. Brutal and efficient. You like his voice and his kisses, huh?