“That’s all I wanted — to die while I still clung to the delusion that my actions meant something. I knew that would fade over time. That everything would erode as more time passed — that everything I temporarily believed was solid would just crumble and break. There was nothing to do but end it before I reached the inevitable conclusion. “And I tried. I tried so hard to find more of that intangible meaning that’s supposed to be out there. But I am just empty. I mean, you saw how I used the space princess. Destroyed her whole world and then snapped her neck. And I still don’t care. I just
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