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October 1 - October 4, 2023
“I can sense your need. Feel it. Taste it. You’re drowning in it.” His eyes slammed shut. “I’m fucking drowning in it.” A sharp dart of desire sliced through me. “Then drown with me.”
He lowered his head even more, his mouth barely a breath away from mine. “I will gladly suffer anything Kolis dishes out as long as my blood is spilled instead of yours.”
“None of them will harbor any ill thoughts toward you now. They will see you as you are. Brave and daring.” Nyktos had lowered his head, speaking so only I could hear him. His cool breath danced over the shell of my ear, sending a shiver over my skin. “And if they still harbor any ill thoughts, they will be the last ones they ever have. No matter how loyal they are to the Shadowlands, I will destroy them.”
“Breathe, Sera.” I sucked in air. “I could never pity someone as strong and brave as you,” Nyktos said. “But you do have my sympathy and my apologies.” I leaned back, but his hand followed. “I don’t want that. Or need it and—” “I know,” he repeated, his thumb coasted across my cheek. “But they are there in case you are in need of them one day.” Raw emotion swelled so quickly that I had to close my eyes again, because if I didn’t, that mess of emotion would make itself painfully visible.
“Sera.” I thought I heard Nyktos whisper my name as I began to doze off. “You were never a ghost to me.”
“But there is no way he has truly forgiven me.” “I never said he has. I said he understands, and I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he was much younger. Forgiveness benefits the forgiver, and it’s easy. Understanding is acceptance, and that is far harder.”
“Three little freckles right here, clustered together.” Both of his hands ran up my thighs to the thin strip of silky lace. “Your freckles are like a constellation.” I lifted my hips as he drew the lace down over my legs and then pulled the undergarment off. His hands returned to my hips, and I let out a startled gasp as he tugged me to the edge of the bed. He lowered himself to his knees on the floor. A pulse of pleasure darted through me as his gaze fixed on the throbbing space between my legs.
“That’s another name I’ll need to come up with. What I’ll call this constellation,” he said, threading an arm under my hips as he hooked one of my legs over his shoulder. The position forced me back onto my elbows. “I’m always more creative when I have something sweet on my tongue.”
“His death was not the only one owed that day. The fact that you still breathe is due to a grace you do not deserve.” She paled to the shade of my hair. “T-thank you,” she said, trembling. “Do not thank me. It was not I who saved your life. I wanted to take it. To put you where you belong, beside that bastard of a mortal you would’ve crowned King,” Nyktos said, essence rippling over his skin. “It was your daughter. For reasons unbeknownst to me, she told me no. That is who you should spend the rest of your undeserved life thanking.”
“Why did you visit my lake if you had this?” Nyktos was quiet for so long that I looked at him. He was still staring at the pool. “Because it was your lake.”
I lifted my right hand and extended my middle finger even as adrenaline surged through me. He was probably right, but I missed training. Fighting. “In case you don’t know what that means, go fuck yourself.” Nyktos chuckled. “If you behave, maybe I’ll fuck you instead.”
Nyktos’s body continued to shudder as he slowed behind me, the pressure of his fangs against my unbroken skin lessening as he whispered, “You are always safe with me, liessa.”
I dressed, finding it difficult to keep my eyes off him and the smile from my face. In him, in the relaxed lines of his features that made him seem so young as he took the time to blot the water from my hair. And I couldn’t help but think this felt like…more. That we felt like more.
Instead, I wanted a future of my own, one where I could try to keep that part of me good—just like Nyktos did. A future that had more moments like the ones I’d spent with him earlier. Moments of peace. I wanted years like his friend Lathan had, where he didn’t struggle to find his breath when things became overwhelming. Maybe even moments like this, where I held a sleeping child in my arms, one that was mine. I wanted a future where I was— I tried to stop the thought from finishing, but it was too late. The why behind what I wanted was already fully formed, and the strangest, most terrifying
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wanted more. I wanted to be his wife. His partner. His Queen. I wanted to be Nyktos’s Consort.
“You’re stronger than you realize, meyaah Liessa.” Nektas smirked as I shot him a glare. “The embers, you mean,” I corrected him. “He didn’t misspeak.” Nyktos’s thumb swept back and forth. “He speaks of you. Not the embers.”
“They are Polemus, Peinea, and Loimus,” Nektas answered. I frowned. “Those’re their names?” “Well, they’re more of an embodiment of who they are than actual names,” Nyktos shared. “It’s Primal language.”
“Their names mean war, pestilence, and hunger. And when they ride, they bring about the end to wherever they travel because death always follows them.”
Then the horses moved, lowering their shrouded heads as each bent one front leg. They and the riders bowed. “Huh,” Nektas murmured, his head cocked. “Haven’t seen that happen in a while.” I glanced back at Nyktos. He stared at the riders, his eyes slightly wide and luminous. Taut, pale lines bracketed his mouth. “I’ve never seen them do that.” He blinked several times, and some of the brightness faded as he looked down at me, clearing his throat. “The entrance to the Vale is only a few feet to our right.”
Dark silver eyes locked onto mine, and I felt that same sweeping motion in my chest and stomach as he said, “She’s very important to me, Nektas.” “I know,” the draken responded.
He lifted the hand he held to his mouth and pressed a kiss against my knuckles. Then, slowly, he turned it over and pressed another kiss to my palm. He never took those now-heated, quicksilver eyes off me. “I’ll be waiting for you, liessa.”
“I don’t know why death smells like that, but lilacs are special. They represent renewal, and both life and death are that—a renewal.”
Stretching my arm over the Pools, I watched the blood seep from my finger as I whispered words that scalded my throat, “The day I took too much sleeping draft wasn’t an accident or a spur-of-the-moment decision.” My hand trembled. “I didn’t want to wake up.” The cavern was quiet except for the buzzing in my ears as the drop of blood slipped from my fingertip and splashed off the surface. A hiss hit the air of the cave as I drew my hand back. The water burst to life, bubbling and roiling.
“I know her,” I whispered, dumbfounded as I watched her smile in response to whatever Delfai was showing her in the bowl. “That’s Kayleigh Balfour. The Princess of Irelone. Delfai is in Irelone—at Cauldra Manor.”
“Because I was there when mortals were created. I lent my fire to breathe life into their flesh,” he reminded me. “Mortals were created in the image of the Primals, but they were also given more.” “The ability to feel emotion.” “And free will,” he said. “Fate doesn’t usurp that, no matter how much the Arae probably wish they did in some situations. Fate just sees all the possible outcomes of free will.”
“Nothing is more powerful, more life and realm-altering than the ability to feel. To experience emotion. Love. Hate. Desire. To care for oneself. To care for another.”
“Not everyone can always be okay,” he said quietly. “And if you happen to find that you’re not, you can talk to me. We’ll make sure you’re okay. Agreed?”
“Holy shit,” I whispered, lifting the sword as a shadow fell over me. Nektas stared down at me. “I thought you said eather didn’t do anything to them?” “It shouldn’t,” he said. “Only the Primal of Life can wield the kind of eather that can kill a nymph.” Nektas jerked his hood back. “It’s the same kind of power that can kill another Primal.”
Veses. The Primal of Rites and Prosperity was in Nyktos’s lap. Touching him. Riding him. Feeding from his throat.
“You know what? Seeing you with her did hurt my feelings. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t have. You have made no promises to me. And I have asked none from you. This union between us was never something that either of us desired. We don’t need to discuss what you were or weren’t doing any further. I know what I saw. You’ve apologized. It is what it is.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “It means the deal we made? It’s over. The only thing between us now are these stupid embers. I want them gone, and then I want to be gone.” He took a measured step toward me. “Gone from what exactly?” “From
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“Because why would you want that from me—want more— when you know I’m incapable of giving you what you deserve.” “And what is it that I deserve?” “Someone who loves you, unconditionally and irrevocably. Someone who had the courage to allow themselves to feel that,” he said. My arms slipped free of my hold as I stared at him. He looked away, shoulders straightening.
Blinking sleep-heavy, crimson eyes, she stretched two little arms in my direction as Nektas brought her to me. I didn’t know what to do, but when I lifted my hands, she grasped fistfuls of my hair and bent over, pressing her lips to my forehead. It was the messiest, wettest, and sweetest kiss I’d ever received. “Night-night,” she murmured, pulling back. “That’s her way of saying goodbye,” Nektas explained. “Night-night,” I whispered, voice strangely thick as I carefully untangled her fingers from my hair.
“And even if he was, you have no right to be jealous,” I reminded him. “Agreed. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am, and that Attes will inevitably find himself having to regenerate his eyes.”
Attes stopped in front of him. “And they will not learn of what happened here. I swear.” He turned toward me. “To you.” I watched the Primal lower himself to one knee, placing one hand over his heart as he flattened his other palm against the floor. “I swear I will not betray what you’ve done today, meyaah Liessa.”
“And what do you feel for me?” Nyktos was silent and then tipped his head back to look at me. Eather pulsed intensely behind his pupils. “I feel too many things. Curiosity and excitement that remind me of what I think yearning must feel like. Need. Want,” he said roughly, his voice low. “Amusement at times. Sometimes, even anger. But always awe. I am always in awe of you. I could keep going, but most of all, what I feel is the closest thing to peace I’ve ever experienced.”
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “You’re beautiful.” Bele’s face appeared above my shoulder. “Really.” I cleared my throat. “Thank you.” I turned to Erlina. “Thank you.”
inhaled sharply. “I’m going to kill her.” Rhain’s eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t kill a Primal, Sera.” “Watch me try,” I promised.
“Nyktos is waiting for me.” He turned for the door, then faced me. “Do you love him?” The floor felt as if it shifted under my feet. Love? Nyktos? My mouth opened, but I couldn’t find any words to speak. Rhain tilted his head back. “I…I think I was wrong about you.”
There was only one reason I’d react in such a way. I stared down at the hand pressed to my chest—to the space above my heart. My heart. I…I loved him.
And I knew right then, as I stood there trembling, who he was to me. He wasn’t Nyktos. He never had been. He was Ash, and I… I was in love with him. Everything stopped. My heart. My lungs. My steps. The air in the chamber. The entire realm.
“I want to tell you that you look beautiful,” he said, his voice as soft as the shadows moving around us, warm against my cheek. “But beautiful doesn’t adequately capture what I see. I don’t know if there is a word that does. You have taken my breath with yours.”
“Rise,” Ash’s voice was deeper, louder. A powerful thunder. “Rise for the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon,”
“Imprimen,” he said, clearing his throat. “Suu opor va id Arae. Idi habe datu ida benada.” “W-what?” I only recognized one word spoken in the Primal language. Ash swallowed thickly. “Imprint,” he translated, staring at me in…awe as shocked murmurs eroded the silence.
He brushed a curl back over my shoulder. “Just a little. I had to give some sort of explanation for what has been rather impossible. No one has been blessed upon their union in many centuries.” I arched a brow. “Then how did this happen?” His fingers lingered around the curl as he said, “My father was known to do this when he favored a union and wanted it known to all others. He’d give his blessing.”
tipped my head back. “I need you,” I said. His chest was rising and falling as rapidly as mine against my back. “I need you.” I reached down, gripping his wrist. “Inside me.” Ash’s fingers stilled. “I want you inside me,” I whispered against the curve of his jaw. “When I come and call you Ash.” “Fuck,” he growled, easing his fingers from me. He gripped the lace, tearing it with one sharp pull that sent a wicked thrill through me. “What’s stopping you?”
“I was beginning to grow a little impatient. Thankfully, Cauldra Manor is a lovely place. As is the Balfour family. Their name will be honored long after the great kingdoms fall.”
“Until the Arae conjured forth the heart of the mountains—a precious stone created by the flames of dragons that used to inhabit this realm eons ago before Primals could shed joyous tears. It was the first of its kind, known for not only its indestructible strength, but also its irregular, jagged beauty and silver sheen. They called the diamond the Star.”
“Love,” I murmured, swallowed. “Maybe it is a weakness.” “I believe it to be the one thing more unpredictable than even a Primal ember. Therefore, stronger,” Delfai countered, drawing my gaze to him. “Love makes anything possible. Makes anyone capable of the unexpected.”
“You were supposed to kill me.” Delfai leaned back against the bookshelf, patches of skin along his arms and neck charred. My stomach churned. “That was how I died.” “Well, you’re not dead, thanks to her.” Ash’s jaw worked as he glared at the god as if he were about to change his mind. “Congratulations.” Delfai’s fingers stilled around his throat. “It may be cause for celebration.” His hand dropped to his lap. “Perhaps there is a silver beast and a brightest moon. Two. Not one,” he rambled. “Two then one.” “What in the hell are you talking about?” Ash demanded. “Nothing.” He smiled widely,
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“Even if you had your kardia, Ash, there was no guarantee you’d love me—” “Yes, there is.” His eyes were wide and wild as he caught my wrists. “I would’ve loved you if I could have. There would’ve been no stopping me.”
