A Light in the Flame (Flesh and Fire, #2)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

He didn’t trust me. It wasn’t like I expected him to. Not after everything, but it still…bothered me. Stung.

“Kolis is aware that you’ve taken a Consort.” A muscle flexed in his jaw. “And His Majesty has decided to deny your right to a coronation.”

It felt like a wild sort of peace. It felt right. And that scared me.

“He’ll use this as a chance to find out how the embers of life were felt here,” Nektas said. “I bet he’ll offer that in return for his permission.” Ector’s amber gaze darted from me to Nyktos. “You can’t let him know the truth.”

“Besides the Arae and the draken,” Ector continued, “only one other would be immune.” Nyktos’s gaze caught mine. “Only a Primal is immune to another Primal’s presence.”

“He will not touch you.” Nyktos cupped my cheek, and my eyes closed at the faint trace of energy moving from his fingertips to my skin. “I will not allow it.”

“You carry the only true embers of life in you, Sera. You’re the Queen.”

“Kolis killed every god and godling that served under Eythos, ensuring that none could Ascend to replace the Primal of Life.”

“If you ask Ector and other gods who were alive when Eythos was the true Primal of Life, they will tell you that there was a marked change in many of the Primals when Kolis stole his brother’s essence.”

“You are flesh and fire.”

Forgiveness benefits the forgiver, and it’s easy. Understanding is acceptance, and that is far harder.”

“There is a difference between someone trying to control you and someone trying to protect you.

“It’s clear that you should be the true Primal of Life,” I explained. “Not because it was your destiny, but because you’re good.”

“Your…handling of me isn’t the only reason I know you’re good,” I countered. “You didn’t want to enjoy those killings, and you stepped away before it could change you. I know because you feel the marks those deaths left behind, and you carry them on your skin. I know because despite not having the ability to love, you are still kind and care deeply—more than most.”

“There is no such thing as a good Primal.” “What?” “The essence that courses through our veins is what made the realms, creating the air that is breathed, the land that is sowed, and the rain that falls from the skies to fill the oceans. It’s powerful and ancient. Unbiased. It’s absolute. And in the beginning, when there were just the Ancient Primals, the Fates, and the dragons, Primals were neither good nor bad. They just were. Purely impartial. A perfect balance because they felt nothing, neither love nor hate.”

Mortals were the first to feel, from the moment they took their first breath—and until their last. And that was something that just occurred in them naturally. But Primals were meant to be beyond such…mortal needs and wants.” I slowly sat back down. “Why?” “Because emotions can sway one’s decisions, no matter how unbiased anyone believes they are. If they can feel, they can be coerced by emotion.” He met my eyes.

“Then a Primal fell in love, and it troubled the Fates. They worried that love, held within a Primal’s heart, could become a weapon. They intervened, hoping to dissuade other Primals from doing the same by making what they loved the ultimate weapon to be used against them.” “By becoming their weakness,”

“It was your daughter. For reasons unbeknownst to me, she told me no. That is who you should spend the rest of your undeserved life thanking.”

Your mind takes thought. Time. Your will just is. It’s immediate.”

“You are always safe with me, liessa.”

“You have embers of life in you. Primal embers.” His leg brushed mine underwater as he angled his body toward me. “You’re strong. Lathan was just as recklessly brave as you are. None of that has anything to do with the mind.”

“Either way, you’re not weak, Sera. Not physically, but more importantly, not mentally. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, mortal or not.” The tips of his fingers grazed the curve of my arm. “With or without the embers.”

but he’d said I was strong. Not the embers. Me. And that mattered. Because it reminded me that I mattered.

Instead, I wanted a future of my own, one where I could try to keep that part of me good—just like Nyktos did. A future that had more moments like the ones I’d spent with him earlier. Moments of peace.

Nyktos did understand my actions. He accepted them. Two things even I knew were far more important than forgiveness. Nyktos knew me. Heard me. And he made sure I understood that a part of me was good. That he didn’t see me as a ghost. Or a monster. He saw me, as someone strong and brave with or without the embers, and I now knew he’d been telling the truth when he claimed to be angrier about what he believed to be my lack of regard for my life. That he cared despite his resolve not to see me as anything more than a Consort in title only. Despite his very real inability to love. And because of that, all of that… I wanted more. I wanted to be his wife. His partner. His Queen. I wanted to be Nyktos’s Consort.

Being closer to my Ascension was a big deal. Because being closer to it with these embers still inside me also meant being closer to my death. Not even Nyktos’s blood could save me, because it required more than just his blood. It required his love. Something Nyktos had prevented himself from feeling with the removal of the kardia.

“The poppies,” I whispered. “The poisonous, temperamental poppies that remind you of me.” “The powerful, beautiful poppies that also remind me of hope,” Nyktos replied, his thumb smoothing under my lower lip before returning to my hip. “Those poppies are the hope of life. The power of those embers. Proof that life cannot be defeated, not even in death.”

When the Primal takes their true form in anger, they are not themselves. They become anger and power and can lash out. And while I knew he wouldn’t harm you in anger as he is usually, I didn’t know what he’d do in that form.”

“That what he feels for you goes beyond fondness. He cares for you.”

“He had his kardia removed because he didn’t want love to become a weakness or to be weaponized.”

“Life and death are not very different. Both are natural, a necessary cycle, for there cannot be life without death,

Love can breathe life and inspiration into one, and the loss of it can rot and taint the mind of another.

“Nothing is more powerful, more life and realm-altering than the ability to feel. To experience emotion. Love. Hate. Desire. To care for oneself. To care for another.”

“Not everyone can always be okay,” he said quietly. “And if you happen to find that you’re not, you can talk to me. We’ll make sure you’re okay.

“Only the Primal of Life can wield the kind of eather that can kill a nymph.” Nektas jerked his hood back. “It’s the same kind of power that can kill another Primal.”

Nyktos couldn’t love. Maybe he could care, but whatever stopped someone from doing that had to come from the same place that love did. The same place attachments were held. Bonds that ran deeper than blood. I should’ve expected there would be no such loyalty to me.

The roots—they’re meant to protect a Primal as they rest. They were protecting you.” “They were choking me.” “They were trying to cover you, to keep you safe.

I had feelings for him, and that was never a part of the deal I’d struck with him. That was never in the cards for me. But I’d opened the door to him, letting myself feel safe with him and want more than I should. And that was on me.

And contrary to what Nyktos believed, I didn’t want to die. Not when there was the possibility of a future that wouldn’t be dictated by a destiny I’d never agreed to. A life that I and no one else owned. I needed to survive to live that. Because I wanted that. Deserved it.

“You see, his Court is lawless and yet full of unknown rules that, if broken, result in death. There is no other way to explain it. Only the cruelest, most manipulative survive in Dalos.”

“You are…you are very strong. I hope you know that. But I wish you didn’t have to know.”

“I told you because I knew no other way to tell you what I know to be true—just in case you decide to follow this destiny you believe to be yours. It doesn’t matter what soul you carry inside you.” Aios lifted our joined hands. “What does is whether or not Kolis is capable of loving again, even his graeca. And he’s not. There’s nothing but rot and decay where his kardia should be. Kolis has no weakness.”

You’re his weakness. Aios had to be wrong. No one was without weakness.

“And what is it that I deserve?” “Someone who loves you, unconditionally and irrevocably. Someone who had the courage to allow themselves to feel that,”

“It is not only the fucking embers that are important, Sera. You.”

That part of me that you believe extends to all others, it’s almost gone. Letting Kolis destroy yet another innocent—destroy you—will take what is left of that goodness. I will become something far worse than Kolis.” He fears becoming Kolis.

“My family has always been…partial to wolves,” he explained after a moment. “My father once told me that there was no other creature as loyal or protective as a wolf. Or spiritual. He saw them as he saw himself. As a guardian.”

Rage, pure and primal, set fire to my blood as my chin dipped, and a voice among my thoughts whispered: mine, becoming a chorus of many screaming, “Mine!” His stolen power. It was mine. His pain. It would be mine. Vengeance. Retribution. Blood. Mine. All of it would be mine.

“Why not say something to Kolis, Attes? You could’ve gone to him with your suspicions before. You could now. You’d be favored like Hanan once was, and you know what that means. You don’t have to worry about your draken or vassals being dragged to Court to be slaughtered.” “I know. And I could’ve.” Attes faced Nyktos. “But as I said before, I remember who your father was. I remember who you were meant to be.”

“You’re not Sotoria. You have two souls. Yours. And hers.”