A Light in the Flame (Flesh and Fire, #2)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“I’ll be waiting for you, liessa.”

“But you thought he would hurt me the night in the Dying Woods.” “That was different. When the Primal takes their true form in anger, they are not themselves. They become anger and power and can lash out. And while I knew he wouldn’t harm you in anger as he is usually, I didn’t know what he’d do in that form.” His gaze touched mine. “But now I do. He stopped himself. Not because I was there. He could’ve fucked me up. He stopped himself. Now, I know.” “Know what?” “That what he feels for you goes beyond fondness. He cares for you.”

“Ash grew up seeing that loss and sadness every time he looked in his father’s eyes. He felt that himself, never knowing his mother’s touch or hearing her voice,” Nektas said. “But Ash doesn’t fear becoming his father. He fears becoming his uncle.”

“But it wasn’t until Kolis experienced love and loss that he changed. That he began to become what he is today. Love can breathe life and inspiration into one, and the loss of it can rot and taint the mind of another. That is what Ash fears most.” His gaze found mine again. “Loving someone. Losing them. Then becoming something even worse than Kolis.”

I jerked again. “I-I don’t love him,” I denied, but the words rang a little hollow. “I don’t even know what that feels like.” “Then how do you know?” I snapped my mouth shut. A strange, heady mix of emotions swept through me, and I felt like I was falling and flying at the same time. “I can’t think about this.” “Why? Because you fear that you love him, and he can’t feel the same?”

I’d smelled that before. Stale lilacs. I wondered if Nyktos could smell that on me. I stopped myself from asking that. I’d rather him think I smelled like a summer storm—whatever that smelled like.

“Nothing is more powerful, more life and realm-altering than the ability to feel. To experience emotion. Love. Hate. Desire. To care for oneself. To care for another.”

“I was talking about what came before you lost your shit and nearly collapsed the entire palace,” he replied, and I tensed. “Never seen anything like that—not even from a Primal in their Culling.” His chin lifted slightly. “You’re powerful, Sera.”

“Hell, no, it’s not. That only happens when Primals go into stasis. The roots—they’re meant to protect a Primal as they rest. They were protecting you.” “They were choking me.” “They were trying to cover you, to keep you safe. Okay, let me explain it this way,” Rhain said when he saw my look of disbelief. “Primals are a part of the very fabric of the realms. The roots keep them connected to the realms while they rest. Understand?”

“He’s probably going to be super disappointed to learn that you decided to finally wake up when he wasn’t here.”

“Sleeping beside you. Not straying farther than his office unless he had to. Clucking over you like a mother hen of death.”

“Yeah,” Rhain grumbled, not bothering to remove her feet this time. “I honestly thought he was going to kill Ector at least five times in the last three days.”

Nyktos didn’t want a Consort. Didn’t need one. And you wanted to kill him—or thought you needed to. Whatever. But I’ve seen the way you look at him,” she said, and my cheeks warmed. “I’ve seen how comfortable you are touching him. Very few would even dare think of doing such a thing.”

“And I’ve never seen him so involved with another as he is with you. So annoyingly concerned.”

“What happened by the pool was because you care, and I—” He looked away, his chest rising sharply. “What matters is that I caused you to lose control. I hurt you.” His eyes met mine again, now full of whirling wisps of eather. “I didn’t want that. I never wanted that. And I hate that I hurt you. I am sorry, Sera.”

“I was foolish and naïve to believe you when you said there had been no one before me. I should’ve seen right through that the first time we were together. That is how you hurt my ego.” His nostrils flared. “That wasn’t a lie.” “I think it’s time for you to stop lying.” “I’ve wanted no one but you, Sera.”

“You know what? Seeing you with her did hurt my feelings. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t have. You have made no promises to me. And I have asked none from you. This union between us was never something that either of us desired. We don’t need to discuss what you were or weren’t doing any further. I know what I saw. You’ve apologized. It is what it is.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “It means the deal we made? It’s over. The only thing between us now are these stupid embers. I want them gone, and then I want to be gone.” He took a measured step toward me. “Gone from what exactly?” “From here,” I said. “From you.”

“Then what exactly are you suggesting, Your Highness? Because I’m confused as to why you would now demand that I be…what? More argumentative? Irrational?” “As I told you before, I quite enjoyed the more…reckless side of your nature.” I was still on the outside. Inside, however, I trembled. “But this?” He lowered his hand to the surface of his desk. “This was how you were raised to be, wasn’t it?” I sucked in a breath. “Pliable. Submissive. Quiet.” He paused. “Empty.”

“You’re trying to read my emotions.” “Yes,” he confirmed without any hint of shame. “And I feel nothing.”

“There hasn’t been one time that I’ve been in your presence for more than a handful of minutes where I haven’t felt you project an emotion, be it joy, desire, or anger,” he said. “Not from the first moment I saw you in the Dark Elms till I tried to slow your breathing beneath the palace.”

“Wanting to be my Consort? In more than title?” Nyktos drifted closer in that silent way of his. “To the people of the Shadowlands and, eventually, Iliseeum? To me?”

“Because why would you want that from me—want more— when you know I’m incapable of giving you what you deserve.” “And what is it that I deserve?” “Someone who loves you, unconditionally and irrevocably. Someone who had the courage to allow themselves to feel that,”

“It is not only the fucking embers that are important, Sera. You.” He inhaled sharply as I jolted. “You are important. And what you ask of me is to walk away, leaving you to not only certain death but also with Kolis. If Aios told you all, then you know what that will entail. And you also have to know that it will be far worse for you because you won’t be his favorite. You will be his in all the ways he believes he has a right to.”

That part of me that you believe extends to all others, it’s almost gone. Letting Kolis destroy yet another innocent—destroy you—will take what is left of that goodness. I will become something far worse than Kolis.” He fears becoming Kolis.

I’d been about to beg him to use compulsion, and he must have known that. Instead, he’d kissed me. And he kept kissing me.

“He could be a…friend.” “Then he should stop looking at you like he wants to taste you.” My brows shot up on my forehead. “First off, he was not looking at me like that.” “That is the only way he looks at you.” “And even if he was, you have no right to be jealous,” I reminded him. “Agreed. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am, and that Attes will inevitably find himself having to regenerate his eyes.” He turned his head to our left.

“Hawks represent intelligence, strength, and courage. A reminder to be careful, but to also be brave.” His whisper grazed my temple. “The wings are those of a hawk, but when my father ruled as King, they were always silver.”

parando para pensar agora, Cas/Hawke é descendente de Attes, então faz sentido o nome também.

“Something happened there. With you.” Nyktos angled his body toward mine. “I felt it.” Throat constricting, I looked up at him. “Felt what?” “Rage.” His eyes searched mine. “A rage I don’t think was yours. It felt different. Tasted different.” “It wasn’t just mine,” I admitted quietly. “I don’t know how or why, but I know. I felt it.”

think Holland was wrong. I think a lot of us were wrong, and you were right.” His gaze swept over me. “You’re not Sotoria. You have two souls. Yours. And hers.”

“Is that what you think?” Veses’ laugh was as brittle as dry bones this time. “That’s what I know.” “Then what you think you know is a joke.” “The only joke I know is the one standing before me,” I spat, my restraint snapping. “And it’s a pathetic one.”

“What did you just say?” “Do I need to repeat myself?” Shock rippled across her face. “How dare you speak to me with such disrespect—?” “It’s kind of hard to speak to you with respect when you have earned no such thing, Your Highness.”

Relieved, I closed my eyes and leaned back against the chaise. “Ector tried to stop Veses from coming in here,” I shared, vaguely aware of the others leaving. “Why would he do that? He knew better.” “So did Bele.” Nyktos brushed my hair over my shoulder. “They were willing to take that risk to protect you.”

“It was…her feeding from you, wasn’t it? That’s why your skin is so cold.” His features tensed. “I told you why my skin is cold. I’m Death.” He had told me that, but that hadn’t really made that much sense to me. Nyktos stared at me for a moment. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, and I thought it did. “I’ll be okay. You, however, may not be.”

“You weren’t thinking of that day,” he said gruffly. “I was.” “But how…?” “That can happen when a god or a Primal feeds from another. They can sense—or see—what the other is thinking. Or find a memory. Some are skilled at dragging older memories out while they feed.”

mesma coisa que os atlantians

“And what do you feel for me?” Nyktos was silent and then tipped his head back to look at me. Eather pulsed intensely behind his pupils. “I feel too many things. Curiosity and excitement that remind me of what I think yearning must feel like. Need. Want,” he said roughly, his voice low. “Amusement at times. Sometimes, even anger. But always awe. I am always in awe of you. I could keep going, but most of all, what I feel is the closest thing to peace I’ve ever experienced.”

He’d sacrificed the right to deny someone. I suddenly thought about how shocked they had all been after learning that Nyktos didn’t react when I touched him. How they’d said he didn’t like to be touched— And when he’d said he wanted no one but me. Wanted. Oh, gods.

The embers hummed powerfully, but the rage…it was like what I’d felt when I stared at Kolis—when I’d felt her inside me. But this was all me. My fury was so great, so terrible that it calmed me. Not the embers. Me. The embers still hummed, but I willed the chandelier to still. And it did. I inhaled sharply. “I’m going to kill her.” Rhain’s eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t kill a Primal, Sera.” “Watch me try,” I promised.

Ash’s. Nektas’s words suddenly came back to me then. He is how you wish him to be. And I knew right then, as I stood there trembling, who he was to me. He wasn’t Nyktos. He never had been. He was Ash, and I… I was in love with him.

“I just…I want you to know that I want this,” I told him in a strangled whisper. “I mean, when I told you before that I wanted to be your Consort, that still holds true. I want this, Ash.” Silence.

A series of luminous golden swirls swept over the top of my hand and between my thumb and pointer finger, sweeping in several whirls along the lines of my palm. I looked at Ash’s hand. He bore the same mark as I did.

“But only one thing has occupied my thoughts from the moment I saw you in this dress and heard you call me Ash.” His words were a silken caress in the carriage. “And it’s not seeing you out of this dress, although that is a close second.”

“I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.” Warmth slid across my cheeks. “I mean, I would like to stay with you. To sleep. Or talk. Or whatever. I…I just want to be with you.” The flecks of essence in his eyes spun to life, beginning to swirl wildly as Ash went completely still. I could’ve sworn the very air in the hall ceased to move right along with him, but then his chest rose sharply. Tension left his features, and for the briefest moment, he—a Primal of Death—looked as vulnerable as I felt. “I would like that, Sera. Very much.”

“But know that if you don’t kill her, I will find a way to do it myself.” He stared at me for a moment and then laughed. Deeply. Hard. “I’m being serious,” I told him. “Not a single part of me doubts that.” I held his gaze. “The bitch is dead.” “Agreed.” “Good.”

“Thank you.” My eyes opened. “What are you thanking me for?” “For just… Just for being you,” he said. “I’m sure many people would not thank me just for being myself, but you’re welcome.” “Those people should die, too.” I laughed softly.

“My apologies.” The god bowed his head. “What I meant to say is that she is the current holder of the embers, a living being allowing the embers to grow in power. Therefore, transferring them from her will not be the same as it would be to remove the embers from a Primal born and fully Ascended.” His eerie, unflinching gaze settled on me. “They would just need to be taken from you. And doing so will mean only a rather minor impact on the realms.”

“He must feed until the last drop of blood is taken. Until there is nothing but the embers left. Then, they will transfer to him. He will Ascend. But you…” He sighed. “You will not survive. You will die.”

“But not that amused.” His eyes flashed an intense shade of gold and silver. “But, yes, I do believe it was referring to me. Now, the two daughters? That has always confounded me. Still does a little, but I do believe it’s Mycella. She was, after all, promised to the once King. My brother.” He tapped his chin. “The second daughter? You. You are promised to the future King—or who would’ve been the future King once Eythos entered Arcadia, and Nyktos Ascended to take his place.

“There is the end.” Kolis smirked as he gripped the bars. “‘For the one born of the blood and the ash, the bearer of two crowns, and the bringer of life to mortal, god, and draken. A silver beast with blood seeping from its jaws of fire, bathed in the flames of the brightest moon to ever be birthed, will become one,’”

“You’re killing me,” I slurred, eyes heavy. “You’re killing me again, after all these years.”