Davo

by N.R. Walker

I had to wonder if this Cruiser only had full-speed and stop. It certainly had no air conditioning. Even the air coming through the windows was hot. The road to the landing strip was no more than a track, bumps, and corrugated dirt. Holding my laptop bag, I bounced in my seat and Junie hung onto the steering wheel. “There’s a spring in that seat you’re about to become real acquainted with,” she said with a laugh. Oh my god. She wasn’t wrong. By the time we drove onto a better-maintained road, I felt somewhat violated. And there was a high probability I was beginning to cook.

Davo smiled as he sipped his drink, and he nodded to my hair. “Might wanna stay out of the sun with that complexion.” He was going to joke about my appearance when he was wearing a skirt? Okay then.

“Resources aren’t difficult to get, but they can take time to get in. We keep no hard drugs here, just paracetamol, ibuprofen, and some basic antibiotics. We had some antivenin once, but it went out of date.” Oh my god! “What if someone gets bitten?” He grimaced. “Well, for the snakes you find out this way, the chopper wouldn’t get here in time anyway. So my advice is just don’t get bitten.” Holy hell.

I was just about to leave when Truck came in, one of the men I’d met at my welcoming party the night before. He had a sulphur-crested cockatoo perched on his forearm. “Oh, hello again,” I said. To Truck, not the bird. The large bird squawked, his yellow crest perked right up. “What the fuck do you want?” I was stunned. Truck laughed. “This is Hooker. He has no manners, sorry.”

Truck sighed. “He belonged to old Wally. Raised him from a baby, and you don’t have to guess what Wally’s language was like. Crazy old bastard. Anyway, Wally passed away a few months back now, and Hooker couldn’t be released because he doesn’t know how to be a bird. He couldn’t go to some poor, unsuspecting wildlife park because of the language.” Hooker let rip, right on cue, “The fuck, the fuck, the fuck, the fuck, the fuck.”

“Oh, thank the heavens. Because I’ve never seen him smile at anyone the way he was smiling at you just now.” Oh, wow. Okay. What was I supposed to say to that? Junie beamed like a proud mum. “I put condoms in the bag with his sandwich. Just so you know.” “Oh my god!” “No need to be embarrassed.” “I’m not embarrassed. I’m mortified. Why would you assume we’d need those?” “Because I was young once, and the roadhouse closes at eight. Did you want to get caught out?” “Well . . . no, but—” “So don’t keep him waiting.” She winked. Actually winked. I wanted to die.

“So, while we’re talking about names,” I said. “Can I ask about the cockatoo? I hear it screeching bad language every so often. Why is its name Hooker?” I regretted asking as soon as the words were out of my mouth. “Because it’s seen a cock-or-two.” I sighed. Totally should have seen that coming. “What about Truck? Because he’s a diesel mechanic?” “Nope. Truck’s real name is Laurie.” Oh dear. “You know, as in lorry.” “Yeah, I got it, thanks.” “And JC is short for Jesus Christ.” “Because of his long hair?” “Nah. Because he put a metal spike through his hand. Crucifix style.”

“That’s just city life though. Not really extreme climate conditions.” “True. But there are pros and cons for living anywhere.” He held me with his gaze. “Like in Sydney. You can probably get any kind of food you want at any hour.” I nodded. “Sure.” “But you’ve never seen the stars above the outback desert at midnight. Or the desert wildflowers bloom in winter.” His words thumped in my chest, right alongside my heart. I shook my head. “No, I haven’t.” “It’s so much better than any food you can get at 3:00am. You need to feed the soul too.”

“Sorry,” I said. “He got dumped on me twenty minutes ago. It’s too hot for him to go outside. It’s like forty-five degrees here today. Apparently, he spent the first forty years of his life with Wally, a guy that swore a lot. As you can tell. The result being a bird that’s more like a senile grandpa who screams at everyone to get off his lawn, all while having the attention span of a toddler.”

“Don’t splash too much,” Davo said. “Attracts the crocodiles.” I shrieked, and he cracked up laughing. “I’m kidding! There are no crocs here.” “Davo!” I grabbed my dick. “I peed a little!” He laughed so hard I thought he might burst something.

“It’s hard to get your head around, isn’t it?” he added. “Geologists have dated the zircon found in this part of Australia back three billion years. Three billion. I can’t even fathom that length of time or imagine what the earth looked like.” Three billion years? “Way too early for dinosaurs.” “Earth would have been nothing but a fiery, volcanic planet, rivers of lava, that kind of thing.” He sighed. “And now here we are, three billion years later, and I’m lucky enough to exist at the same time as you.” I didn’t know what to say. I could barely speak. My eyes and the back of my nose burned, but I didn’t want to cry. “I reckon I’m pretty lucky to exist at the same time as you too.” Davo’s smile disappeared into a frown. “Did I upset you just now?” I shook my head and laughed at myself. “Only because it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Fergus, look at me.” I met his eyes. “Do you want to stay here?” “More than anything.” I nodded. “I didn’t expect to come here and fall in love. But I met you, and you are everything I want. You are so perfectly right for me. You see the wonder in the world, and I need someone to remind me of that. You’re smart and funny, and you’re just everything I could ever need.” His eyes got impossibly blue and teary. “You love me?” I said that, didn’t I? “I love you. I’m in love with you,” I admitted.

“Before you open your eyes, I want you to know there’s no pressure. I’m just putting this out there.” He was quiet for a second, confused. “Okay.” “Open your eyes.” I felt him freeze when he saw it, and then he sat side-on so he could see me. “Fergus?” “It’s a skirt pattern book.” He looked at the book, then at me. “No, it’s a Bridal dressmaker’s skirt pattern book.”

I cupped the side of his face and looked into those blue, blue eyes. “David Senter,” I whispered. “I want to spend my life with you. There is no one, in all the time on earth, in all the stars in the universe, I’d rather spend my life with but you. I would be honoured and humbled if you’d be my husband. I want to marry you. I want to be yours forever. Marry me, please. Choose your favourite skirt, take as long as you want to make it. When you’re ready, we can plan a wedding. A small, private ceremony, on the beach, if you want—” He kissed me soundly. “I can have something shipped in two days.” I laughed. “Is that a yes?” “Of course, it’s a yes!” He kissed me again. “My god, Fergus, yes. And the Cinderella-hooker skirt is perfect.