But the real problem is that keeping a scorecard always leads to bitterness and resentment. The relationship, whether it’s with a coworker, friend, or family member, becomes a competition. And there is never a winner. The other person inevitably feels taken for granted and unappreciated. And we ultimately convince ourself that we’re doing the heavy lifting, putting in more than our fair share of time, effort, and emotional capital. The negative emotions that spring from this dynamic not only cause the relationship to deteriorate, but are also difficult for us to release. We dwell on them. We
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