The Art of Letting GO: How to Let Go of the Past, Look Forward to the Future, and Finally Enjoy the Emotional Freedom You Deserve! (The Art Of Living Well Book 2)

by Damon Zahariades

The problem lies in comparing ourself in ways that make us feel jealous and resentful. If we feel we lack the power to achieve the same success we see in others, we end up feeling inadequate and depressed.

We tell ourself that we’re simply keeping our options open. But in truth, we’re desperately clinging to a desire to “make things right.” In doing so, we rob ourself of the opportunity to let go and move on with our life. We prevent ourself from enjoying the personal gratification that accompanies other experiences, relationships, and successes.

Or we stay in a toxic relationship because we’ve invested years of our life and all of our emotional energy in it. We maintain a failing business because we’ve

Admitting failure is always difficult, but doubly so when our sense of self is attached to the thing we’re holding on to (a failing relationship, business venture, etc.).

And so we cling to it, sinking additional resources into it. We continue to spend our time, energy, and money on the emotional attachment despite knowing deep down that we’ll be unable to recover these resources.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Letting go of the past is only possible if we manage to break this habit of self-reproach. In order to move on, we must find a way to undermine our inner critic, short-circuiting its dubious and emotionally harmful accusations.

You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are wiser today than yesterday. JONATHON

WE IDEALIZE THE THING WE’RE HANGING ON TO

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. LAO TZU

Abandoning our old identities can be tremendously liberating. It allows us to more easily let go of awful memories and punishing emotions as we’re no longer held captive by demoralizing, self-applied labels.

Negative emotions are like unwelcome guests. Just because they show up on our doorstep doesn't mean they have a right to stay. DEEPAK CHOPRA

Second, while focusing on the negative, the mind tends to overlook the positive. Because the latter seems to have minimal practical use, it is disregarded.

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose. LYNDON B. JOHNSON

You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice that you are holding it. Admit your ‘weaknesses’ and watch them morph into your greatest strengths. NEALE DONALD WALSCH

The ability to comprehend, evaluate, and manage our emotional state is known as emotional intelligence (EQ). It involves deep introspection into how we’re feeling, why we’re feeling this way, how these feelings are affecting us, and whether we need to take action to manage them.

Second, we should ask ourself a simple, two-pronged question: “What am I feeling and what is causing me to feel this way?”

Third, we reflect on how these emotions are affecting our behaviors — at our workplace, with our friends, with our loved ones, and even when we’re alone. Fourth, we write everything down.

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head. ANN LANDERS

When we have difficulty letting go of something, it’s often because we believe it was meeting one of our needs. For example, a failed relationship was providing love and companionship. A failed business was providing a sense of accomplishment, which in turn boosted our self-confidence. Others’ expectations gave us a sense of personal value. This perception is often misguided (which we’ll get to in a moment), but we believe it to be true. Until we recognize and acknowledge the delusion, it may as well be true. Ultimately, it makes us less inclined to let go of whatever is burdening us.

As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you. ECKHART TOLLE

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. DEEPAK CHOPRA

You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. MARCUS AURELIUS

We can control our choices. We can control our thoughts. We can control how we treat others. And we can control how we respond to events, people, and other external stimuli. But we have limited control over our environment, other people’s actions, and events that adversely affect us.

But the real problem is that keeping a scorecard always leads to bitterness and resentment. The relationship, whether it’s with a coworker, friend, or family member, becomes a competition. And there is never a winner. The other person inevitably feels taken for granted and unappreciated. And we ultimately convince ourself that we’re doing the heavy lifting, putting in more than our fair share of time, effort, and emotional capital. The negative emotions that spring from this dynamic not only cause the relationship to deteriorate, but are also difficult for us to release. We dwell on them. We cling to them. And as they fester, they cause us to feel more and more resentment and regret.

Much of the emotional pain we bear stems from unfair treatment at the hands of others. We feel hurt, betrayed, forgotten, or disrespected. These feelings turn into resentment, which we hold on to as a way to protect ourself. If we resent the person responsible for our anguish, we’re less inclined to be emotionally vulnerable around them.

We expect a lot from ourself and others. When our expectations are unmet, we experience disappointment, frustration, and even anger. We believe a certain outcome should happen. We become invested in it. When it fails to materialize as we imagine it, our patience evaporates and our inner critic denounces everyone involved (if only in our heads). That’s a

Understand and challenge your personal narrative. Narratives become choices and actions — which become your life. BRYANT H. MCGILL