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April 23 - April 23, 2025
Letting go begins with accepting our new circumstances. Rather than clinging to a past we desperately want to reclaim, we embrace reality. We commit to no longer dwell on the past. We detach ourself from circumstances over which we have minimal influence.
The proper way to let go involves recognizing our negative thoughts and emotions, determining why we’re experiencing them, and moving from the denial and bargaining stages to the acceptance stage of grief.
Emotional exhaustion is often misattributed to the daily stressors of our personal or work life — for example, our commute to the office or caring for a child who is throwing a tantrum. In reality, it often stems from stress, anxiety, and regret over a past circumstance that we’re holding on to.
Clinging to painful memories puts significant strain on our confidence, self-esteem, and mental resilience. It slowly wears us down and can even set the stage for depression. When we let them go, we remove this mental pressure. As a result, our confidence grows, our self-esteem strengthens, and we begin to rebuild our resilience against life’s stressors.
Remaining emotionally attached to past regrets, judgments, and even personal grudges puts significant strain on our bodies, as well. It raises our stress levels, increases our blood pressure, and can even impair our ability to sleep soundly. When we detach ourself from the past, we alleviate this physical pressure. Doing so allows our bodies to remain healthy, free of the unnecessary stress that burdened it.
It’s difficult to enjoy healthy relationships when we obsess over painful memories. The obsession hampers our ability to appreciate ourself. Moreover, it ...
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Letting go frees us to focus on caring for ourself and others. We become more emotionally present, which helps us to become a better friend, spouse, and even coworker.
When we let go of the past, we give ourself permission to no longer focus on pleasing others. Instead, we can focus on making decisions that prioritize our own needs and make the best use of the resources at our disposal.
When we let go, we become more receptive to change. We become more adaptable. This benefits us as changes in our circumstances are often the precursor to personal growth and happiness.
When we let go of the past, we give ourself the freedom to recognize ourself as being in control of our personal happiness. We accept that we don’t need to rely on others to feel positive about ourself and our circumstances.
Holding on to painful memories isolates us from others. Even when our friends and loved ones recognize our pain and try to help, our emotional suffering seems like it must remain a solitary affair. That leads to loneliness and despair. Left unresolved, the isolation we experience grows to the point that we feel no one can relate to our pain.
It’s natural to feel attached to broken relationships, at least for awhile. But eventually, we must find a way to let them go in order to move on with our life.
Toxic relationships seem like they should be easy to let go. After all, they cause us stress and anxiety, and there’s a marked absence of respect and trust. Yet these relationships are often the most difficult to walk away from. The partners become emotionally dependent on one another, encouraging each other to stay despite their mutual misery. It’s impossible to experience emotional freedom while mired in toxic relationships. The longer we tolerate them, the longer we rob ourself of the opportunity to find healthier relationships and the happiness that accompanies them.
Letting go of the past is only possible if we manage to break this habit of self-reproach. In order to move on, we must find a way to undermine our inner critic, short-circuiting its dubious and emotionally harmful accusations.
This tendency to idealize the past invariably leads to sadness, frustration, and disappointment. But we can break this habit, giving ourself permission to view our circumstances and our past in a realistic light. When we do so, it becomes much easier to see the past through a pragmatic lens, finally let it go, and ultimately move on with our life.
Abandoning our old identities can be tremendously liberating. It allows us to more easily let go of awful memories and punishing emotions as we’re no longer held captive by demoralizing, self-applied labels.
Overcoming this natural proclivity toward the negative requires that we rewire our brain. We must reframe negative experiences of the past in order to finally let them go. Additionally, we must create new ways to think about our circumstances so that we entertain negative aspects only to the extent of their practical usefulness.
The problem is, this fear makes it nearly impossible for us to let go of things that cause us emotional pain and distress. When we obsess over receiving others’ approval, we give ourself far less latitude to confront our emotions, forgive ourself, and move on. The process of letting go becomes entangled with our yearning for others’ validation. Our insecurity causes us to overanalyze our thoughts, decisions, and actions under the harsh, unforgiving light of whether we have others’ permission.
Constantly trying to make everyone else happy only leads to misery. We lose ourself in their priorities.
Much of the emotional pain we bear stems from unfair treatment at the hands of others. We feel hurt, betrayed, forgotten, or disrespected. These feelings turn into resentment, which we hold on to as a way to protect ourself. If we resent the person responsible for our anguish, we’re less inclined to be emotionally vulnerable around them.
Forgiving others makes us vulnerable to them. We dread being hurt by them again, so we’re disinclined to pardon them.
