The House at the End of the World

by Dean Koontz

but she is not a weak girl who has spent the years lifting nothing heavier than bottles of makeup, tubes of skin cream, and lipstick.

Dean Koontz is such a douche

Grandma Giana Gasparelli was once a svelte dark-eyed beauty with silky black hair; at eighty-nine, however, she is a tub with a bosom that time has grown into an impressive shelf that can serve as a rest for her crossed arms.

What a disgusting description.