If There's a Way (Lost Boys #2)

by Jessie Walker

All I feel is the boy in my arms—my boy. My guy. My man. The one who’s been there all along, waiting for me—and all I can do is pray that I’m not too late. Please, please, please don’t let me be too late.

“Well too fucking bad,” I murmur. “You are loved. And I’m not better off without you.” He sucks in a shaky breath. Slowly, I take a step back, then another. His shirt pulling until I have no choice but to let go. “And I’d rather feel this burden of knowing and loving you than go even a second without you existing somewhere on this planet.”

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, City Boy. Sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

I might not know love, but I do know my heart beats for him. That much is as clear as day to me. So if keeping this bruised up chunk of muscle beating is all I’ve gotta do to make sure he never lets me hurt him again? Well, that’s the easiest promise I’ll ever make. Simple as that.

I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m not going anywhere. Prove he’s not a whim or a fix or any-fucking-thing else in between. He’s the beat of my fucking heart. And that? That’s everything.

He’s sacred. To me. Always has been. Since I was ten fucking years old. Every fucking part of him is sacred to every fucking part of me.

“You didn’t make anything worse, Will,” I tell him after a long, quiet moment. “You woke me up, that’s all. You brought me back to life.”

“Don’t for one second think you make my life worse,” I tell him roughly. “You are the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me, and I wouldn’t trade even a second of it for anyone or anything.”

Bowing my forehead to his, I wait for his hazel eyes to focus, and then I tell him, “I am stupidly, insanely in love with you.” He sucks in a sharp breath through his nose, eyes searing into mine. “Hell, I’ve loved you,” I go on deeply, my voice bottoming out with a grave sort of certainty, “in some capacity, for what feels like my entire life. Before I even knew what love was, I’ve been loving you.” I choke out a watery laugh as I stroke his cool cheeks with my thumbs. “Do you really think I could stop, even if I tried? God, I’ve wanted you in my life since the second you first glared at me and gave me some bullshit about how boys can’t cry.”

And there is no other person in the universe I’d rather watch unravel than this guy right here. No one who deserves to let go as much as this human. This human who’s always been mine, in some way or another. Mine. And I am his. At long fucking last, I am his.

“It’s not your job to love who brought you into this world unconditionally. It’s the other way around. You don’t owe me anything.”

Just when I thought I had nothing left to give him, he goes and finds another piece of my heart to steal. Doesn’t he already realize it’s all his? What a goddamn asshole. He’s such a goddamn asshole.