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“You have us,” he says deeply. “I know it’s not enough, but you have us.”
“Nurture might be the thing that makes or breaks us, but just because we break, doesn’t mean we stay broken,”
Shawn’s mouth twitches, and I can’t help but wonder if the sight of physical affection is giving him gas.
Will’s eyes are brighter than I’ve ever seen them, and it’s like a dream, for surely it can’t be me that he’s looking back at like that.
My lungs burn for air, and I kind of feel like I’m drowning. Like I might pass the fuck out. And fuck if I’m not a little in love with the feeling.
Still beating.
Shawn mutters a curse, then says, “Why are you like this?” I tip my head his way and smile sweetly. “What? Amazing? It’s the whole shitty childhood thing. It really agrees with me.”
“I realize now that I haven’t made it clear enough to you,” I whisper, overriding the flutter of nerves in my belly, “so let me fix that.” I take another step, putting us chest to chest as I tell him, “Putting you in danger isn’t an option for me either. Okay?”
How do I tell him that now that I know what it’s like to wake up in his arms, I don’t know how I’ll ever sleep without him again?
“I want to be burdened by you,” I tell him, lifting my shoulders before dropping them. “I want to be the person you burden.”
Apologies are useless in hindsight. They don’t change a goddamn thing. They’re just empty words to fill the silence between one regret and the next.
“You didn’t make anything worse, Will,” I tell him after a long, quiet moment. “You woke me up, that’s all. You brought me back to life.”
“One day, I’m gonna hold your hand in public, and not feel like I’m dying when I do it.”
I let him see my love for the boy behind me, burning fiercely through my veins. A wildfire he tried so hard to snuff out. I let that love fuel me now. Let it consume me, ’til I’m near-bursting with it. Soft, my ass, I think. There’s nothing weak about this. I’ve got the damn sun in my chest. What does he have?
“Hey, City Boy,” Waylon whispers as Mason carries out the bridge, pitching his voice as high as it can go. “Hey, what?” I say dropping my gaze. “I’m happy.”
