You see how hard it was to have a straightforward conversation with her? No, that’s another insult, I realise. I mean: you see how hard it was for me, and those like me, ever to be in charge of a conversation with her, or even be on equal terms? Not because she manipulated it—she was the least manipulative woman I’ve ever met—but because she examined things more widely, with a different horizon and focus. You can see, I hope, why I adored her. And I adored the fact that she was much cleverer than me. When I put this—in so many words—to Anna, she called me an intellectual masochist. And I
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