We All Want Impossible Things

by Catherine Newman

It’s monstrous. It is too much to take. Why do we even do this—love anybody? Our dumb animal hearts.

I squeeze my eyes shut to picture her face, paint hearts on her cheeks, sprinkle her with glitter. “I think I might not know the difference between praying and decorating a cupcake,”

“Daddy, can you just roll me up in a blanket and rock me like a tired burrito baby?”

My whole life with the girls is telescoped into this moment—running away, running back. Fly, be free! I want to say. I want to say, Stay with me forever!