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Admiration was like air to me,
I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was suddenly terrified of getting it.
Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else.
Unconsciousness did not bring full relief from the pain, just a numbing, dulling ease, like medicine. Made it more bearable. But it was still there; I was aware of it, even asleep,
I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!’”

