Eclipse (Twilight, #3)

by Stephenie Meyer

The jar of spaghetti sauce Charlie’d stuck in the microwave was only on its first revolution when I yanked the door open and pulled it out. “What did I do wrong?” Charlie demanded. “You’re supposed to take the lid off first, Dad. Metal’s bad for microwaves.”

There is no fucking way Charlie didn’t know you can’t microwave metal

I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart—I‘ve left it with you.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “But I am a werewolf,” he said unwillingly. “And he is a vampire,” he added with obvious revulsion. “And I’m a Virgo!” I shouted, exasperated.

This part still makes me laugh

“Why did she hit you?” “Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed. “Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him.

Reading this again at age 30 in 2025, my blood is BOILING