Would You Rather

by Allison Ashley

“Noah and I have been friends since we were kids. I’ve loved him basically my entire life.” “So, he knew what he was getting into.” “Does anyone really know, though? There are so many unknowns. I married him, yes—because I couldn’t seem to stop myself. But now that we’re here, I can’t stop worrying about what it’s doing to him. What he’s missing out on, and what he might miss out on in the future. Last week we found out my kidneys are getting worse. I’ve known for a while because I’ve been in more pain, but have tried my best to hide it from him. But he knows, and his anxiety is palpable. Is his life, his experience on this earth, going to be stressful and limited because he’s with me? It feels so damn selfish to let that happen.” “If I may, speaking from experience, it’s selfish to push him away, too.” Mia balked at that, and Barbara hurried to continue. “It hurts when someone you love pushes you away. It feels like a punishment. If he’s anything like me, and he loves you half as much as I loved George—and I expect he does—he wants to be there with you. Take care of you. He wants to, Mia. And by refusing him, you’re stealing his blessing. You’re stealing something that’s his to give before he can even offer it.” “I—I don’t think I’m doing that,”

Just stop pushing him away for fuck's sake