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when they both had promised they’d stay. I was the common denominator. What I’d done hadn’t been enough for either of them.
laughing and dancing in the kitchen. But Mom drinking A.D. — after Dad — looked a little different. It was entire cases of beer consumed on her own. It was crying and screaming and clinging to the toilet as I held
I didn’t have main character energy. I was more of the quirky, cute best friend with all the sage advice.
defensive backs, focused was all I felt. Where Coach usually had to blow his whistle to get us all quiet before practice, no one was talking today. We
“But… Giana is a sweet girl.” I crossed my arms. “And what, I don’t deserve her?” “I didn’t say that.” “What exactly are you saying then?” He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his chin before he looked back at me. “Just be careful, man. Okay? She’s not a rebound. She’s not the kind of girl you fool around with to make yourself feel better.”
Giana: So, when’s my first lesson in seducing Shawn Stetson? I couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled out of me. Me: Eager much? This time, it was a middle finger emoji that came through. Me: Name the time and place. Giana: Let’s just get through Chart Day and go from there. I think I’ve had enough… excitement for one day. Me: So kissing me was exciting, huh? I thought I felt a little wetness on my abs after I set you down… Giana: CLAY!
“If there’s anything you’d like to hear, I’m taking requests. But for now, let’s start with a little Harry Styles.”
like he wanted to say something else, but he just grabbed the back of his neck before pointing back toward the stage. “Alright, well, I should probably get some water and make the rounds before this next set. But I’m really glad you came tonight…” He paused, waiting for me to fill in the blank. “Giana.” “Giana,” he repeated, smiling around the syllables of
I remembered that I didn’t know a single thing about what I was supposed to be doing, but it was fun to run and catch the ball and get grass stains on my white football pants. And I remembered both my parents were there. I could still close my eyes and see their faces — Dad’s severe as he yelled out ways to be better, while Mom was on the verge of crying tears of joy and pride the entire game. I remembered them holding hands. I remembered them happy. It was one of the last times I remembered them that way.
the one that filled me with hope and joy like a hot air balloon lifting slowly into a clear blue sky. From my first Pee Wee game, to the first time I ran out onto the North Boston University field with a crowd roaring in the stands, it was a drug, powerful and pure. But this time… I felt nothing. Our first game of the season passed like a foggy dream, one where I dressed, ran through warm-up drills and played all four quarters as if I were sleeping through the entire thing. I was there, on the field, next to my defensive brothers as I tackled and sprinted and leapt into the air for an
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I wished I was stronger. I wished I didn’t care. I wished for all the things in my life that could have broken me, this was not the one that finally did.
The more I pretended like she was mine to tease like that, the more it felt like she really was.
between us. “Meow,” I repeated, louder, firmer. Recognition hit his face, and Clay paled, peeling himself off me with concern
for how small she was, and she all but dragged me through the weight room as my teammates watched curiously. I followed her with an amused smile, shrugging
and a mouth around my cock at the same time, both excruciatingly painful and delightfully shocking.
“Please, Clay,” she said, and I felt her small hands reach for me, wrapping around my forearm and squeezing. “I need your help. Please. Please.” This girl is actually begging me to take her virginity in a dark supply closet right now.
She was so strange, and intelligent, and curious, and full of wonder. She was like a child and a grown ass woman somehow wrapped up in one.
“Way to end the game, you showboating sonofabitch,” Holden said when I dipped inside.
out under my shirt when I’d popped by to bring her dinner in the middle of the week. She’d quickly kicked me out since she was studying for a test. But I took those books and did a little studying of my own. I memorized what pages she’d dog-eared, or highlighted, which ones had the distinct oil from her fingertips being on them more frequently than others. And what I found surprised me. I was eager to test the theories I’d come
out under my shirt when I’d popped by to bring her dinner in the middle of the week. She’d quickly kicked me out since she was studying for a test. But I took those books and did a little studying of my own. I memorized what pages she’d dog-eared, or highlighted, which ones had the distinct oil from her fingertips being on them more frequently than others. And what I found surprised me. I was eager to test the theories I’d come
to thank him for being here, for loving me, for believing in me.
my heart ached for a reality where my father came to home games and met me in the locker room after. Maliyah’s eyes caught on me, and she swallowed, glancing up at her dad and then back. “I want to say hello to a friend in the front office,” Cory said, and it didn’t surprise me that he had friends on the staff. He had friends everywhere.
“Yes,” I breathed. “Now, tease me. Get me worked up.” She frowned. “How?” “Do what feels natural, and listen to how I react.” I licked my lips. “You love to study so much, Kitten… study me.”
I thought of what I wanted to say next, what I knew she’d love to hear. If I was wrong, this could go a completely different way. But I was
I wanted her. I wanted her so badly my chest had a gaping hole in it whenever I wasn’t with her.
of dollars to prove she wanted him back now. This was what was always supposed to happen.
kissing me? It was intoxicating. Maybe I was just reading too much
sneakers came into view. My heart stopped in my chest at the sight of them, at the dark gray joggers that cuffed at the ankle of legs I could draw blind, I knew them so well now. I clutched my key in my hand as my eyes trailed up those sweats, the NBU Football sweater, and finally,
“I couldn’t eat,” he started, knee still bouncing. “Couldn’t train, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything other than make myself sick thinking about him touching you.”
“I have thought of nothing and no one but you since that night on the observatory tower.”
“You want possession,” he continued, one hand sliding down, down, down as the other traveled up over my breasts. “You want someone to take control, to ravage you.”
He wants to please me. He read my fucking books.
Nothing had ever filled me up, all the way to the brim, the way waking up next to Giana did.
tabbed scene on me later.” “Oh, trust me. I plan to. The ones you highlighted in Sated Love…” Her cheeks burned bright red before
My jaw tightened, heart spiking with the kind of fight-or-flight response I imagine my ancestors used to feel when getting chased by a predator. But I reminded myself that I wasn’t defenseless. I had a fucking sword of a tongue.
“We’re your friends. We’re family. I know you’re always the one lending the hand, Clay, but we can help you, too.” He paused. “You just have to be willing to let us.”
“That’s the thing about love,” he said, kissing my hair. “It doesn’t need to be reciprocated to be real.”
Maybe I didn’t get to have him forever. But I’d hold on to every little piece of him that he gave me for the rest of my life. And after, too.
head falling back as I looked up at the showerhead. “I don’t want to hurt her.” “She’s your mom,” Zeke said instantly. “If anything, she will be proud of you for setting boundaries. She wants