I felt sorry for myself; for being dealt a shitty hand, and for having a sister whose most recognizable trait was criminality. Some people have annoying relatives who drink too much during the holidays and corner everyone with one-sided conspiracy theories about the government being both heinously incompetent and capable of staging elaborate hoaxes like the moon landing, or Pearl Harbor, or the theory of relativity. I had a sister who didn’t limit her antics to holidays, and she liked to sleep with my boyfriend and/or attempt murder when faced with boredom.
