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What was worse is, I was certain I hadn’t yet learned how to unlove him either.
He just continues to stare at me, his hazel-colored eyes full of longing. Full of yearning. Full of desire. For me. It hits me harder and cuts me deeper than any indifference and disappointment ever could. Because he’s looking at me the way he always has. Like time hasn’t passed. Like nothing has changed. Like he needs me. Like he loves me.
It’s always been an unspoken rule: you are who you are and you love who you love; you never need to explain that.
“You’re not different,” he says. My own hands drop and find purchase on his hips as he slides his up my chest and neck, moving to cup my jaw. “You’re finally exactly who you were meant to be.”
He stops when he reaches my ear and whispers, “Leaving you broke my heart.”
“I’m certain this is a bad idea,” I say. “But I’m going to kiss you now, and if you don’t want me to or—” “Frankie,” he interrupts, opening his eyes to meet mine. “Yeah?” “Shut up and kiss me.”
“Feel for as long as you like or need. There is no expiration date on pain, there is only acceptance.”
“It didn’t matter if I took everything or nothing with me to Seattle. No place has ever or will ever feel like home without you.”
“At the time, I just wanted you to get through rehab. That was the only apology I would accept. But what you’ve done with your life in the last four years? What you’ve done for yourself?” he punctuates. “It’s everything to me.”
“I love you, Arlo. Every part of you. The things you love about yourself and especially the things you hate. I love them all.”
“You taught me how to love,” he exclaims. “Before you, I didn’t know what it was like to be loved, let alone to love someone in return. I love you, Frankie York. I always have and I always will.”
“How about I make you a deal?” “I’m listening.” “I start in your ass.” He raises an inquisitive brow. “And you finish in mine?”
those fuckers think it’s funny to buy a whole store’s worth of lube, I’m going to stash it all around the house so you and I are forever ready.”
“Am I allowed to be this happy?” “I hope so.” Grabbing his hand, I drag him toward our bedroom. “Because I have grand plans to spend forever trying to make you even happier.”
