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It hits me harder and cuts me deeper than any indifference and disappointment ever could. Because he’s looking at me the way he always has. Like time hasn’t passed. Like nothing has changed. Like he needs me. Like he loves me.
He may be a different man, and I know there’s more than just a black cloud hanging over us, but he’s still familiar. He’s still safe. He’s still my home.
He stops when he reaches my ear and whispers, “Leaving you broke my heart.”
My heart broke the day I broke his, and he needed to know that. If he listened to nothing else, he needed to know his pain was my pain. His hurt was my hurt. His heart was my heart.
“I don’t want good things,” he whispers into the space between us. “I’ve never wanted good things. I just want you.”
I wanted to eliminate all the air between us. I wanted to devour him whole. I wanted to rid myself of that hollow feeling that only he could fill.
“It didn’t matter if I took everything or nothing with me to Seattle. No place has ever or will ever feel like home without you.”
“I don’t care about anybody else’s space. I just want you in mine.”
“I love your broken.” He rubs his thumb over my lips and kisses me gently. “I love your wronged.” He kisses me again, this time a little firmer. “And I love your selfish.”