The Uncommon Reader

by Alan Bennett

‘Has Your Majesty ever considered writing?’ ‘No,’ said the Queen, though this was a lie. ‘Where would one find the time?’ ‘Ma’am has found time for reading.’ This was a rebuke and the Queen did not take kindly to rebukes, but for the moment she overlooked it. ‘What should one write?’ ‘Your Majesty has had an interesting life.’ ‘Yes,’ said the Queen. ‘One has.’ The truth was Sir Claude had no notion of what the Queen should write or whether she should write at all, and he had only suggested writing in order to get her off reading and because in his experience writing seldom got done. It was a cul de sac. He had been writing his memoirs for twenty years and hadn’t even written fifty pages. ‘Yes,’ he said firmly. ‘Ma’am must write. But can I give Your Majesty a tip? Don’t start at the beginning. That’s the mistake I made. Start off in the middle. Chronology is a great deterrent.’ ‘Was there anything else, Sir Claude?’ The Queen gave her wide smile. The interview was over. How the Queen conveyed this information had always been a mystery to Sir Claude, but it was as plain as if a bell had rung.