Bad Wrong Things

by C.P. Harris

“I’m gonna shatter every trace of who’s been here before me,”

“You’re fucking me like I’m yours, Clint.”

You make me feel alive, Raven.”

“I’ll never forget how it feels to be inside you, Raven. Your body, your mind, your heart… Never.”

“I hate that others have been here,” I said. “That out there, right now, someone’s remembering you were the best fuck of their life.”

I was made for you. To take you. To handle you taking me. You’re larger than life, Clint. In every fucking way.”

“I need to touch, taste, smell, and eat you. I need you in my body, and everything about you is a turn on. Does that make sense?”

“Remind me again that I’m not alone in this,” he said breathily.

“You’re not alone, Clint. Remember, I was here first.”

I loved you first. I wanted you first. I wen...

Clint. I’ll redeem you. I’ll barter with God or the devil or his fucking advocate. I’ll save you.”

My senses were open to him, my mind allowed him into a place not even I had access to. He took over every cell, making it so they wouldn’t function the same without him. He fed my heart, my ambitions, my body, and my twisted fantasies. He knew when to give, when to take, and when to take more. He held court in my corner. He was the light in my darkness, and the forever in my forever-and-ever. Nothing good had happened to me before meeting Clint. Not even being born. I would fucking love him indefinitely.

“I’ll always find you in the dark, Raven,”

Raven hid to be found. He ran to be caught. When I stepped into his dark place that night, it solidified for him that he was worth the effort it took to chase him. Tonight, he was keeping company with his demons again, and I wouldn’t let them have him. I wouldn’t leave him to fight them alone.

“I love you, Raven,” I said before drifting off. “And I’ll forever find and catch you.”

I equated Raven to a drug, and one hit was never enough. He had a way of loving me that forced the background noise to melt away. Of making me feel like nothing else mattered but us, like we were running out of time—in a good way—and we needed to take all our bits of happiness right now. I’d have quit my job and spent my days and nights consumed by him, if my bank account would’ve allowed it.

“But my love for you is more. More than all the fucking stars in the sky. Please,”

“fight for this.

I craved. I obsessed. I cried. I fucking bled. I thought I might die from all the pining.

Raven didn’t only ensure that I fell for him, he’d made breathing impossible without him.

Being with him was second nature, like knowing how to breathe without being taught. Being cared for by him made all the decades I’d neglected myself worth it. And being between his legs was the closest I’d come to true redemption. Raven loved with his whole being.

wanted him gone, I wanted him under me, I wanted him to feel hated, I wanted him worthless. Like me. This thing splitting my heart wasn’t rational.

“You’ve changed my life for always.”

“Our love was ours to do with as we saw fit. We didn’t need our jagged edges smoothed. We didn’t need to be unbent. I just needed to be brave enough to be broken,” he whispered, chipping away at my resolve. “Brave enough to love you through my brokenness.”

He used to smell like nicotine, fire, and mint. Now he smelled like sun, moon, and stars, all things that were promised to return. He smelled like second chances.

Clint was my map, my compass, my way out of the dark.

“I promise to never waste another minute of our lives on what-ifs. I’m going to love you for however long I’m privileged to do so, and you’ll let me because I don’t plan on giving you a choice in the matter.”

“This is what love should look like,”

“This is what love should feel like,”

“H...

Love should feel l...