But I wasn’t lying when I said I’m upset I lost control. After Nessa’s death, I’ve worked incredibly hard on maintaining my temper—on making sure my impulse issue is under lock and key. I never mastered it while she was alive, and doing so after her death is one of the ways I’ve tried to honor her memory. Lately, it’s been severely lacking, which makes me feel as though I’m disrespecting her. Disappointing her, the way I do everyone else.
